If I should die
by jlbetts26
Summary: Is the most important thing in the world worth living for? Dying Isabella Swan never asked the question until she met Edward Cullen. Follow Bella's journey as she answers the question if I should die. BPOV. Normal Pairings. Check it out!
1. Hard Goodbyes

**I didn't realize that this story has been done before well I hope you like my take. I posted this on another site before posting here. So I am not trying in anyway to steal anyones story. I own nothing. **

I stared into my mother's wild eyes and attempted to sooth her, again.

"Mom this is what I want to do." I whispered.

"Please stay Bella. We will find a way." She pleaded.

I hugged her again feeling my resolve waver. No! This is what I would do. I would not force my mother to watch me die or take the last moments I have way from my father, Charlie.

"Bella we could find a different doctor, there are experimental treatments. PLEASE!" she pleaded seeing the resolve wavering in my eyes.

Hot tears quickly streaked down her cheeks as the torrent of her emotion broke loose; her shoulders shook with uncontrolled sobs.

"Mom, we have done everything we can. I will not take this time away from Charlie and I will not have you suffer with me anymore as I die." I whispered fiercely.

On my last word my mother's arms tightened around me, shaking me with the force of her uncontrolled grief. I looked around taking a deep breath, hoping to hold back the tears that were stinging my eyes. Other passengers started to stare at my mother wailing in my arms. I sought Phil's eyes pleadingly. He nodded at me knowingly; silent tears of his own sliding down his cheeks. He walked forward slowly gently peeling my mother out of my arms. She looked at me one last time, with swollen blood shot eyes, before boring her head into Phil's shoulder.

"Mom I love you. I will always love you." I whispered kissing her on her exposed cheek.

"Take care of her." I said to Phil wrapping my arms around them both before bolting into the terminal gate.

I held my tears, as I stumbled my way into my seat on the plane. As soon as the plane was in the air I half ran to the bathroom stumbling twice. I slowly sat down before letting the tears flow freely.

This is the last time that I would allow myself to cry. I knew it was unfair to take away the last few months of life I had to live from my mother. But I could not let her watch me die. It was not something that I was sure that she could fully handle.

The doctor had told me that I was terminal. I had known for most of my short life that it was always a possibility and now all I could do was accept that. The cancer that had plagued me for 7 years was going to kill me and there was nothing they could do. I had accepted that fact now all I could do was live with it for the short time I had left.

Considering the fact, I had given my mother seventeen years of my life, watching her, comforting her, and caring for her. I could not stand to watch her grieve and pity me anymore. I had decided that I would spend the remaining six months that I had with my father. I would give him what time I could to share with me before I was too sick.

Then I would go away and die in a hospital alone. I was not giving up, I would still fight for the time I had left, but I was accepting the inevitable. I would not be made to suffer anymore than I already had. With that determination in my mind I wiped off the last of the tears and returned to my seat.

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Charlie waited for me outside of the terminal in Seattle. He quickly opened his arms as stumbled into them.

"It's good to see you Bells." He said smiling warmly at me just a slight tension in the creases of his eyes.

"You to Dad." I smiled up at him.

He ushered me out of the airport one arm close ready to catch me if I trip. We made it safely back to his cruiser. We were silent for a long time as the road slowly passed us by.

"I got you all set up for school and bought you a truck"

"Thanks Dad but you didn't have to do that"

"I wanted to Bella. It's the least I could do." He whispered his voice breaking slightly on the last word.

"Dad I" but I could not finish the statement. I was not going to cry anymore, taking a deep breath I turned in my seat to look at him.

"Dad I know this is hard but I don't want the time I have left to be sad. I don't want to be pitied anymore. I want to be as normal as possible with you. So I will go to school and you to work and we will be together. Isn't that better?" I asked trying to remain calm.

"Yes" he exclaimed gruffly holding back tears.

"You kept your promise right?"

I had made Charlie promise me when I had called him with the news and my decision that he would tell no one. As far as the town of Forks was concerned I was finally coming to live with my father.

Nothing had changed, my condition was still supposed to be in remission. Hoping, that since I had been in remission for so long, that no one would realize the truth of why I was really coming to stay with him. I had also forced him to tell everyone, that Renee and Phil would be on the road for a while so I was coming to stay with him for the year, just in case.

"Yes."

"But I do want to talk to a doctor in town, just in case." his voice broke again before adding "He is very quiet man and medical records are confidential so it will not be a problem to keep your secret."

He knew I was about to argue. I knew all the doctors from my summers here in Forks and I would not say that any were what you would call tight lipped but if this man was new then maybe it wouldn't be a problem.

"Who?"

"His name is Carlisle Cullen. He is a brilliant doctor. He and his family moved to town a couple of years ago. You have never met him before and I promise that he won't say anthing Bells." Charlie said eyeing me reading the argument in my eyes.

"I just don't want to be pitied Dad. Been there done that." I stated giving in.

If this would make him feel better about the whole thing then who was I to argue with him anymore. He was right anyway it would be better to have a doctor close by just incase. I did not want Charlie to have to deal with me if something happened quicker than expected. Hopefully this Carlisle Cullen would be able to send me to a hosptal were I could fade away on my own. I was not going to have my family suffer along with me anymore than they had to. This would be my final wish from them.

Charlie smiled at me then glad that I had given in and not had the fit that I was sure he expected coming. I grudgingly smiled back.

The rest of the trip went by in a companionable silence.

We pulled up to Charlie's house quietly. I noticed the old rusted out Chevy in the driveway. I had to smile to myself my father did know me to well. This mammoth beast with it bulbous fenders and solid iron body would do just fine for someone coordinationally challenged and prone to klutziness like me. I smiled at him and quietly thanked him again. He seemed like he was going to hug me but then changed his mind and unloaded my stuff into the house.

That night I sat on my small bed and watched the rain slowly slide down the window pane in my small little room. I hated the rain but it somehow seemed to sooth me now. It was funny with as much as I had always hated Forks that at this very moment it shadowed my mood rather well. I pulled my knees a little closer to my body slowly laying my cheek against the soft fabric of my sweats.

I had promised Charlie that, since I was not scheduled to start school until Monday, I would go talk to this Carlisle Cullen that he was so bound and determined for me to see. I wasn't exactly sure what Charlie had told him about my condition but if it would make him happy then why not. I didn't really see how he could help too much since he was only an emergency room doctor but if he would keep this quiet, I would very much appreciate that, at least. With a resound sigh, I pulled back my quilt and closed my eyes willing the fear, that I knew would take me in dreams, away. It could not be so very bad to die. Could it?

**Authors notes: Well let me know what you think. I am hoping to update soon.**


	2. First Sight

I sat in a hard plastic chair impatiently tapping my toe. I hated hospitals, everything about them. Not that I hadn't frequented there halls on more than 100 occasions. Charlie had wanted desperately to come with me but I had begged him to go fishing. It was Saturday after all and I was fairly used to these hospital visits.

"You must be Isabella Swan." A beautiful voice murmured drawing me out of my revelry.

I looked up to see the most handsome doctor that I had ever seen, my mouth hung open in shock. It was no wonder the receptionist giggled a little when I came for my appointment.

"Bella" I corrected snapping my jaw shut, "You must be Dr. Cullen."

I jumped out my seat teeter slightly before shaking his outstretched hand. His touch threw me a little since his hand was very cold but I tried to hide my reaction.

"Well come in" He said ushering me into his office.

As quickly as possible, I ran through my whole story. He stared at me stunned for a few minutes.

"I have received you files from you previous doctors. I just wish that there was more I could do." he said frustration evident in his voice.

"You're doing plenty, Dr. Cullen. I know I'm a hard case to take on." I smiled, sheepishly.

"Not at all." He muttered smiling, "I will do everything I can to help you in any way."

"Thanks so much. You really don't know how relieving that is. I don't think that my father really understands all this at all and for you not to question it." I whispered, gratefully. "Well that is really nice. Thank You."

"Privacy is very important to us all. I can understand that." He stated with a shocking beautiful smile, "I will do everything I can to make your time as comfortable as possible."

My face lit up with a genuine smile as he got up and I followed him to the door.

"Here is my card. If any of your symptoms get worse do not hesitate, in any way, to call me anytime. And I mean any time Bella, 24 hours a day. " He whispered opening the door and ushering us out into the hall.

"Thanks" I whispered, turning the card over in my hand.

"It was nice to meet you." I smiled shaking his hand again before turning quickly and walking down the hall.

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My first morning at Forks High School went better than I had expected. Of course people starred, brave ones even introduced themselves and asked questions. One such student, Jessica, I was following through the lunch line as she chatted. I grabbed a bottle of lemonade and followed her to her seat.

As I sat there trying to avoid the stares of the other students, I saw them. They were sitting at a table to themselves not looking at anyone or eating. I stared. I couldn't really stop myself, they were all impossibly beautiful. Suspiciously, they reminded me of the doctor.

"Who are they?" I asked unable to curb my awe.

Jessica followed my stare and giggled.

"Those are the Cullen's and Hale's." She giggled.

I panicked, I can't say it was rational, but all the same my stomach started to flip. They couldn't be related to the doctor could they? I mean the pale skin and the perfect features were similar but still he could be no more than 30!

As I pondered this the beautiful bronze haired boy met my gaze. His gaze held no pity or remorse just an odd look, maybe frustration. Instantly, my stomach calmed.

"They're not related to Dr. Cullen. Are they?" I asked unable to hide my curiosity.

"You know Dr. Cullen?" Jessica asked, shock and curiosity flashing in her face. She was definitely fishing for gossip.

"No not really." I muttered, flushing. I should have kept my mouth shut.

Jessica seemed like she wanted to question me further but my look must have stopped her.

"Yeah." Alice, Emmett and Edward are his adopted children. Rosalie and Jasper are foster children."

"Oh." I said, trying to sound casual. "He can't be that old, that's really nice that he takes care of all those children."

Not really surprising though he had seemed like such a kind man when I had met him. But I was not going to give her anymore fuel for questions.

"I guess." But I could tell she didn't agree. "There strange though, they never talk to anyone and there all together,ya know."

It seemed as if she was determined to find a flaw in them just because they were different. This instantly sparked my temper.

"Sometimes people just want to be left alone." I whispered, inaudibly too much of a coward to say it aloud. I looked away from her then only to find the bronze haired boy staring at me curiously once more. I flushed looking at the table, it seemed like he had heard me but that was impossible.

"Which on is the one with bronze hair?" I asked, instantly.

"Oh that's Edward. He's gorgeous of course, but he doesn't date." She muttered giving me a knowing look.

Not like dating was on my agenda but I still had to wonder when he had told her no. I bite my lip to control the smile as I glanced at the Cullen table again. Edward wasn't starring at me anymore so I looked back to Jessica.

But I couldn't rejoin the lunchtime conversation; I started wishing for the day to be over. My head ached and I was exhausted. Thankfully, though Biology would be my last class. Dr. Cullen had gotten me out of Gym since balls flying at my head were bad, like they were really that good under normal circumstances.

Finally the bell rang; I filed out behind all the other students toward the Biology building. I let out a sigh as I walked in the door only to stop dead. Sitting in the only available desk was Edward Cullen.

I'm not sure which of the fates I had pissed off in my life but I was sure it was one of them. Oh well what are you going to do? Not much, I thought glumly walking to the teacher then towards my seat.

I chanced a glance at Edward as I took my seat and he was glaring at me with cold black eyes. This reaction shocked me. I flushed quickly hiding myself in my hair.

He must know after all. That was the only explanation that made sense. But still to be that mad that he had to sit next to me. From experience I knew that some people were extremely uncomfortable around the terminally ill but to look as if he hated me. It's not like I was contagious or anything.

Throughout the hour, I chanced glances through my hair to see if he relaxed but he never did. I couldn't control the anger as it well up in me. This was just childish.

I couldn't stop myself when I whispered through clenched teeth, "I'm not contagious." But the hurt was very evident in my voice.

His arm relaxed slightly then. But I never chanced a look at his face, for I could feel tears stinging my eyes. His rejection hurt me more than it should. I didn't have a chance to understand this as the bell rang and I bolted from the class.

I stumbled quickly out to my truck nearly colliding with a bench in the walkway. Finally, I got in slamming the door and jabbing the key in the ignition. Nothing happened.

"Are you kidding me?" I questioned glaring up at the sky.

Sighing, I closed my eyes laying my head against the steering wheel. I let myself wallow in self pity for a few seconds before pushing it aside. It wasn't going to help me out of my current situation. Determined, I lifted my head thinking of my options. I could walk home, which I so did not want to do, or I could call Charlie (not really that great of an option either).

I opened my eyes weighing which option actually sucked less then I saw him. Edward Cullen was leaning against the office building looking in my direction, torn. I looked quickly away, hurt and anger welling up in me.

I wanted to walk over there and tell him off. But, the coward that I was I would not do that nor would I walk past him to call Charlie. So I guess I was walking home after all.

I reached to grab the handle of my truck when another figure with short spiky black hair danced graceful up to him. I watched their silent discussion through the rain streaked window until Edward abruptly stalked to the parking lot and left.

The slight girl turned in my direction, glancing at me with unfocused black eyes. She shook her head before gliding towards my truck. I opened the door getting out as she reached me.

She stopped right in front of me smiling beautifully.

"Hi, I'm Alice Cullen. Do you need some help?" She asked sweetly.

I stared at her questioningly; at least she had no problem with me.

"Bella, Bella Swan." I stuttered, flushing, "No. Not really, my truck won't start. I'm just going to walk home."

"Do you really think that's best?" she asked knowingly.

I looked down at her waiting for the pity but it never came. She just continued to smile at me. Then I wondered if I should be mad at the doctor but that wouldn't help so I asked, "Do you all know then?"

"Yes." She answered before explaining, "My brother overheard a conversation on the phone about a new student he was treating. With a town this small it wasn't very hard to figure out."

"Oh." So it wasn't the doctor's fault after all.

"We wouldn't say anything." She reassured, watching the emotions run across my face.

I couldn't help but believe her. Honesty radiated from every surface of her face.

"Thanks." I muttered then promised, "I won't be here long."

"You worry too much." She stated smiling, "I want you here. I think you might just make our lives very interesting."

I laughed at her curiously. She just smiled wider taking my hand, "Come on let's get you home."


	3. The Meeting With Alice

Edward Cullen never returned to school. I sat in my Biology class on Friday wondering about this for maybe the millionth time. The first few days, I had been relieved to find that he wasn't there. But, after that I began to feel very guilty for having driven him away. I knew that it wasn't healthy and I should just let it go but I couldn't. Why couldn't I just let it go? I wondered in frustration. It's not as if it was my fault, really. But in a way it was. If I hadn't lost my temper and just let his strange behavior go then he might have not stalked off that day.

"Isabella" Mr. Banner said pulling me back to the present. Surprisingly, he was standing right in front of me. I really should have been paying attention. What had I missed?

"Yes? I asked flushing in my embarrassment.

"I wanted to talk to you about the field trip on Monday. Since Edward hasn't returned and his sister was unsure of when he would be coming back. I was thinking that I would pair you with Mike and Angela." He stated smiling, pointing to the blond boy, that Jessica had a huge crush on, and the sweet shy girl that sat with us at lunch.

I looked at them, tentatively. Mike smiled broadly back at me. Evidently, he was very happy about me joining his group. Angela just smiled shyly, nodding in encouragement. I smiled back at them before turning back to Mr. Banner.

"That will be fine with me, Mr. Banner." I said.

He smiled back then turned and walked away. I paid strict attention to rest of the lecture as Mr. Banner discussed our field trip to the Olympic National Forrest to get plant specimens for our cellular anatomy study.

Mike caught up with me as soon as the bell rang. He smiled at me widely, his whole face lit up in excitement.

"I'm really glad that you're going to be joining our group." Mike stated taking grabbing my bag before I could.

"Thanks." I muttered.

Though, I had only met Mike a few times. I had never really talked to him. All of the girls seemed to be head over heels for him and since I did not want to give him the wrong impression. I had kept my conversations with him to a minimum.

"It should be really fun, ya know." He said, excitedly. "A whole day out of school, where all we have to do is hike."

"Yeah, a blast." I lied wondering how many near death experiences one person could have in a day. Well considering, it would be me walking around in the forest, I guess the number was infinite. Hopefully, I didn't get lost.

Mike didn't seem to catch on however. He just smiled even wider before saying enthusiastically, "Well I gotta go to gym. I'll see you Monday."

"See you then." I smiled taking my bag as he handed it back to me outside the cafeteria.

I turned away, carefully making my way to the bench. It wasn't raining today so I could wait for Charlie here instead of the office. Despite the cold, it was better than sitting in the office where Mrs. Cope felt the need to chat with me.

I tried to brush off what rain I could on the bench, knowing despite my effort the bench would be wet. Sighing, I sat down on the bench shivering as the damp cold seeped through my raincoat. I pulled my knees against my chest wrapping my arms around me laying my head down. Hoping, I could retain all my body heat.

I tried to focus on my breathing, so that I wouldn't feel the need to think but it didn't work. My mind wandered from Renee's desperate phone call yesterday to my nagging need to make things right with Edward Cullen. I squeezed my eyes closed tighter, biting my bottom lip, trying to the fight the headache that was steadily gaining strength.

"Bella." A musical voice whispered fairly close to me.

I jumped a little turning my head. Alice was standing right next to me. I stared at her confused; I hadn't even heard her approach.

She smiled brilliantly down at me.

"I didn't mean to frighten you." She stated frowning a little reading my expression.

"No, I just didn't here you." I muttered quickly then asked, "Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"Yes, but I'm using the bathroom." She explained shaking the large wooden hall pass dangling gaudily from her delicate wrist.

"I see." I laughed wonderingly. Only Alice and her family could make a gaudy hall pass look like a beautiful piece of jewelry.

Her beautiful face shined with laughter as she sat down next to me on the bench.

"No really, I wanted to talk to you." She explained sobering my immediately.

Alice hadn't really talked to me since that first day beyond a smile and a wave in the hall. A few times in the cafeteria, I had thought she wanted to approach me but she never did. So if she was seeking me out, it must be important.

"What do you need, Alice?" I asked hesitantly, not allowing myself to think further.

"Edward is coming back to school on Monday." She whispered watching me intently.

"Oh." I mumbled as my stomach coiled in to a tangle of knots.

She smiled at me understandingly, as I saw my horrified expression in her wide orb like gold eyes.

"It won't be as bad as you think, Bella. Well I don't think it will be anyway." She stated seeming frustrated about something.

"Well that's reassuring." I muttered heavy on the sarcasm.

She laughed putting her delicate arm around my shoulders.

"You really do worry too much, Bella." She sighed but the gesture was still comforting.

"Your brother really doesn't like me." That was probably an understatement.

"He doesn't know you." She explained squeezing me gently.

"Like that will make all the difference." I blurted out doubtfully.

"Yes." She stated as if this was a solid fact.

I looked at her questioningly; she beamed back at me like I wasn't in on an important secret.

"That doesn't make any sense." I muttered trying to read her face.

"It will or at least I hope it will. I really like you, Bella." Again that slight frustration in her features.

"I like you too." I whispered, still confused. "But, you kind of talk in circles."

"I know." She sighed looking away from me.

Just then something occurred to me and I could feel the horrified look creep back into my features.

"Alice, we have the field trip on Monday." I whispered sounding slightly breathless.

My face felt all hot and my palms were sweating slightly, I looked down biting my lip. If he was coming back on Monday then he would be my partner for the field trip. It would be bad enough to embarrass myself in front of the entire school but with Edward there, who already didn't like me that would be beyond the seventh circle of hell.

Would I really submit myself to that kind of torture? I questioned as Alice stared at me knowingly.

"Don't worry." Alice whispered, soothingly. "It will be fine. I know it will."

"If you think so." Doubt evident in every word.

"Well I should go and Charlie's here." Alice said suddenly, causing me to look up. Just then Charlie pulled into the drive. I looked at her surprised but she only smiled before adding, "And don't you even think about skipping out on Monday."

Her voice was so full of authority; I could only stare at her further. Alice Cullen was definitely different in some way, truthfully from what I had observed in my short time, they all were. But in what way? I wondered wanting to ponder this further but Charlie stepped out of the cruiser.

"I'll see you, Monday." Alice said hugging me lightly before flitting quickly away.

I stared open mouthed back at her as Charlie got to me and took my bag.

"How was your day?" Charlie asked ushering me back to the cruiser.

"Interesting." I said, my voice vavering slightly.

That didn't even cut it.


	4. The Field Trip

Why was I doing this to myself? I wondered again as Charlie pulled the cruiser into the parking lot of Forks High School. I could feel the blush rise up my face as I looked to see the students gathering waiting for the bus.

"I promise that Jacob will be over in the next few days." Charlie stated misinterpreting my reaction.

I turned to look at him trying to smile over my rolling stomach.

"It's no big deal Dad." I whispered reassuringly, "But it will be nice when I don't have to inconvenience you anymore."

"It's not an inconvenience, Bella." Charlie stated smiling his crinkly eyed smile. I smiled wider leaning over the seat to kiss him on the cheek.

"You know I love you, Dad."

He blushed slightly, clearing his throat before answering, "I love you too."

"See you this afternoon." I mumbled getting out of the car.

I had to give myself credit. I was definitely getting better at showing emotion in front of Charlie. We both were so bad at showing emotions; it was nice that I didn't really have to work at it anymore. Then again I was making up for a lifetime of I love yous in a few short months so that was quite the incentive. I cringed slightly as my thoughts started down darker avenues. No I would not think of all the things that he would miss, I could only live in the now. And in the now, I was walking towards a large group of students excited about what could possibly be the worst day of my life.

Sighing, I sucked in a deep breath trying to calm my nerves. It could be worse. Yeah right! I thought lifting my chin and plastering, what I hoped was not a phony looking smile on my face.

Mike saw me immediately and waved me forward.

"I can do this." I muttered to myself walking forward.

He started chatting with me, brilliant smile lighting up his face. I tried to pay strict attention but my eyes were scanning the crowd looking for person that had my nerves on edge. I looked twice but did not see him, my stomach calmed minutely. I looked back to Mike and he was staring at me expectantly.

"I'm sorry. What?" I asked flushing a little.

He just smiled shaking his head at me curiously, "I wondered if…"

"Oh, Mike." Jessica yelled cutting him off claiming his attention, expertly pushing me out of Mike's line of sight. If I hadn't been so nervous her reaction probably would have been funny. I was definitely not trying to lay any claims on Mike. But I was too nervous so I made my way to a picnic table. I sat down pulling my IPod out of my bag to listen to music as I scanned for the Cullen's without distraction

Angela Weber walked towards me smiling sweetly; I turned off my IPod smiling back. She stood next to me for a few second contemplating what she would say.

"Do you mind if I sit with you?" She asked shyly.

"Sure." I answered smiling invitingly. Angela and I had never really talked much but she was very relaxing to be around. However, she always noticed much more than Jessica.

"Is everything alright?" She asked, concerned taking her seat, "You seem a little tense."

"I'm fine." I muttered flushing a little, looking at her quizzically before asking, "Is it that easy to tell?"

"No not really." She answered being sweet surely, "You just seem a little anxious."

"I am a wee bit nervous." I admitted, "I hate hiking. I'm not very good at it." That was an understatement. Flat surfaces were not kind to me, I couldn't imagine the pain uneven dirt and roots could inflict. Hell, if I was being honest lose pebbles could just as easily be my downfall.

Not to mention that I was horribly afraid that Edward Cullen would show up, making this day all that much worse.

Think of the devil and he shall appear. I didn't hear Angela's voice anymore as a unique shade of bronze caught and held my attention. Edward and Alice Cullen had just joined the group waiting for the bus. Thankfully, his gaze had not found me yet so I felt no guilt in staring just a little. Plus if he was going to glare at me like last Monday, I was definitely going to ask Mr. Banner for a new partner and save us both some unneeded stress.

He was standing next to Alice looking tense and extraordinary beautiful. There was really no need to deny it. Not like he would ever be interested in me. Nor should I care, I mentally chided myself.

There was something about the way that they were standing, that caught my attention. The way that they were staring at each other though Alice's mouth never moved and Edward's only seemed to tremble. I would bet what was left of my life they were somehow having a conversation. Edward intensified this suspicious when he jerked his head slightly, as if nodding to an unasked question. If I hadn't been paying such close attention the movement would have been lost but sadly I was.

Edward chose that moment, to look towards me meeting my eye before I could look away. But in the second that our eyes met he didn't look angry just frustrated somehow. I looked back at Angela flushing, wondering how much of the conversation that I had missed. Since she was as shy as me, I guessed it probably wasn't much once she caught my distracted expression.

She just smiled at me quizzically before following my gaze.

"I'm sorry." I muttered getting redder. "I'm a bit distracted."

"I see." She said looking quickly back at me.

"He doesn't like me very much." I blurted out before I could stop myself.

She looked at me understandingly then glanced toward Edward out of the corner of her eye.

"I think you might be wrong about that, Bella." Angela whispered looking back towards me as I gasped in shock.

"Why?" I asked resisting the urge to look in his direction again.

"Well, he is kind of staring at you." Angela whispered flushing in embarrassment.

"Does he look angry?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"Not at all. I think you'll be fine." Angela said smiling as we stood up since they were now loading the bus.

Though I would not dare look in Edward's direction, I did notice that Mike was making his way towards me as we walked to the bus. Guess his intentions, I turned towards Angela quickly, "Do you want to sit together on the bus?"

"Yeah, that would be great." She said giggling noticing Mike too.

Mike finally made it to us with Jessica close on his heels.

"Hey Bella, Ang." Mike said smiling brightly.

"Hey Mike." We said in unison.

"Bella, I meant to ask you earlier. Do you want to sit with me?" he asked not noticing Jessica. Who was giving me a look that should surely be causing physical burns.

"Sorry, Mike. I already asked Angela if we would sit together." I said trying to look appropriately upset so that I would not hurt his feelings. I didn't particularly care for Mike but he was a nice person.

"No big deal, maybe on the ride home." He said his smile falling a little.

"Maybe." I muttered knowing I would definitely be asking Angela to spare me again. Plus, I would not do that to Jessica, I had a feeling she could make my life very difficult if she chose to.

He turned from us then talking to Jessica as we passed. I hoped that he would ask her to sit with him; she would be a much better person to devote his attentions.

The bus ride to the forest was extremely uneventful. Angela and I chatted a little but I mostly just listened to my IPod trying not to look at Edward. He and Alice had sat in the seat the farthest way from mine but the few times that I had chanced a glance at him he was staring intently in my direction.

The long trip seemed very short as the bus stopped to unload. My nerves, which had dulled slightly, surged into overdrive making my stomach clench and my palms sweat. I must have looked like I was going to be sick because Angela smiled at me encouragingly as we stood up to file off the bus.

Angela looked at me curiously but filed off as I waited for the crowd to file out. I had learned through experience this was best considering that I usually tripped and crowds pushing on you tended to intensify this affect. Only instead of just taking myself down, I would usually take a few others with me.

Edward and Alice were the last to get off the bus. Edward tensed considerably as he passed me but Alice grabbed my hand smiling, "You coming, Bella."

I took a deep breath, trying unsuccessfully to calm my nerves, as I followed her off the bus. Surprisingly, her hand was just the support that I needed and I didn't stumble once.

As I followed her down the last step, she didn't relinquish my hand so I was force to stand next to her and Edward as Mr. Banner explained and handed out our assignment. She turned to me then smiling beautifully, I looked back at her not able to copy her smile.

"Bella, since you have never officially met my brother. This is Edward." She stated beautiful trilling voice smiling up at Edward. He glared back at her but she just stuck out her tongue.

A giggle slipped before I could contain it, they always seemed so extraordinary that this normal sibling behavior surprised me. They both looked back at me then smiling at my outburst as I flushed biting my lip.

"It's nice to meet you." Edward whispered in a soft velvety voice smiling, still tense.

His voice was almost as beautiful as his face. You could almost feel the sweetness of it wrap around you like a comforting blanket.

"You too." I whispered sincerely looking into his deep golden eyes.

Alice gave a meaningful glance to Edward before turning away saying, "Well I better go find my partner."

"Shall we." Edward stated ushering me towards the path that we were to follow.

"Sure." I muttered surprised I could get the words out past my stomach, which was in my throat.

I looked down the ominous wooded path, again wondering why I hadn't just stayed home. Shaking my head to clear it, I shuffled forward following Edward and the others into the woods.

I tried to keep my eyes on my feet to keep my embarrassment to a minimum but Edwards tense stance made this difficult. I stumbled a couple of times. Edwards hand shot out as if to catch me but I righted myself so he pulled it back amazingly fast. I was about to suggest that we split the assignment in half and go our separate ways but Edward's voice broke into my musing.

"Nice day for a field trip." He stated smiling at me slightly.

"Sure." I muttered then added honestly, "if you like tromping around in the cold and the wet."

I flushed, wincing at how stupid my answer sounded.

"You don't like the cold." He observed looking at me with his penetrating golden eyes.

"Not particularly." I answered darkly, mentally chiding myself again for my absurd answer.

He stared at me intently for a few seconds, before turning away wincing as the wind ruffled my hair. I just continued to stare at him trying to understand his curious behavior. Did I smell bad? I wondered trying to make sense of his constantly changing moods one minute his was perfectly pleasant the next hostility radiated off him. I tried to inconspicuously smell my hair but it smelled the same as normal.

Suddenly, I realized that his hostility should frighten me but instead I was intrigued.

"Why come her then?" He asked almost roughly, hands fisted at his sides.

"For Charlie." I muttered without thinking still trying to understand his strange behavior.

He loosened slightly nodding his head and we continued to walk in silence. I looked back at my feet trying to scan the plants at the ends of the path trying to find the ones on our list.

"Is it worth it?" he asked as I looked up he was staring at me once more. His body still less tense than it had been.

"It's better than the alternative." I whispered truthfully mesmerized by his beautiful face.

"You disliked being in Phoenix." He stated still staring intently. I looked at him questioningly, I had never mentioned where I was from. Just how much did he know about me?

"Alice." He answered reading the question in my eyes, a smile lighting his face.

"Ahh." I said flushing but smiling in return, of course Alice would know where I was from. I had told her the first day in the office. Of course, she would probably relay any information she could in an attempt to make her brother not hate me. "No I love Phoenix." I muttered longingly finally answering his question.

He stared at me perplexed mulling over the information before whispering, "I don't understand."

Of course he didn't understand who in their right mind would understand the convoluted workings of my brain. I glanced at the ground trying to figure out if I should explain honestly or lie. Would he really dislike me less if he understood that I was not here to torture him, just myself?

"This was the best solution. I needed to spend quality time with Charlie and this way will cause my mother the least amount of suffering, hopefully." I stated biting my lip hoping to put an end to the direction of this conversation. It made me reveal much more about myself than was truly necessary.

"What about you?" he asked not taking my hint.

"What about me?" I asked wondering why he cared but his expression gave away nothing.

"That doesn't seem fair to you." He stated frustration flashing in his eyes.

"Haven't you heard life's not fair?" I said with a hint of sarcasm marring my voice.

"Actually, I have heard that before." He whispered smiling a crooked smile so beautiful that it took my breath away. I looked away trying to catch my breath before making a complete fool of myself. I could feel his eyes boring into me but I continued to stare at the ground trying to control my breathing. But the steady breathing hurt a little since my body was quickly getting exhausted from all the walking.

"You put on good show but I would say that you are suffering more than anyone knows." He whispered softly snapping my attention back to him.

Was I really so easy to read? Of course I was hadn't my mother always called me her open book. All my emotions were right there on my face for the whole world to see. I had been so stupid to think that I could pull this off.

"Why does it matter to you?" I asked more angry than necessary since I was really only angry at myself.

"I'm not sure. I am just trying to understand you but you don't make any sense. Usually people are very easy to read but your quite difficult actually." He stated frustrated again.

My eyes snapped to his as I laughed in surprise. He had just guessed in one short conversation what I was trying to keep from the whole world, my suffering. Yet he thought I was difficult to understand.

"What?" he asked looking at me perplexed.

"It's nothing really, just that you have guessed more in one conversation than I would like anyone one to know and you find _me_ hard to read." I stated still giggling a little. Understanding flashed in his eyes and he laughed with me. The sound was magical; I got caught up in the wonder of it.

"I have never tried so hard to converse with someone." He stated frowning, seeming a little upset by this fact.

"Well considering that most find me very easy to read the change is kind of nice." I teased smiling wondering at this strange conversation I was having.

We walked in silence for a few minutes before he whispered, "You're a very unique individual, Bella."

I think that freak would be a more appropriate word but since he was being so friendly I didn't want to darken the conversation.

"Thanks." I muttered then added lamely, "I could say the same to you."

He looked at me with unreadable emotions in his eyes before whispering darkly, "That's an understatement."

We followed the path in silence then as I tried hopelessly to understand this strange beautiful boy. The only thing I was sure of was that I was quickly becoming infatuated with Edward Cullen.


	5. The Fall

We walked in silence for most of the morning quickly collecting our plant specimens. While we were looking for our last one, I knew that I was going to have to sit down soon. Though I had been hoping to avoid it, I felt like I had run a 10K race at record time instead of casually strolling along a path.

I could feel the clammy sweat rolling down the back of my neck with each new step that we took, even though the day was quite brisk. My breathing was becoming labored and I knew that Edward had to hear it because he had slowed the pace of our walking. But now even the slow pace was not helping.

I was just about to admit my weakness, when my foot caught on a tree root. I stumbled forward sucking in a painfully deep breath. My lungs rebelled against the onslaught of cold wet air, affectively cutting off my oxygen. I was vaguely aware that Edward grabbed my arm to stop me from face planting into the dirt. More focused on the fact, that I couldn't breathe.

"Bella!" Edward gasped in alarm as I coughed and sputtered trying to get fresh air into my lungs.

I tried to relax my body enough to stop the spam. Doubling over, I focused on taking painful breaths through my nose as other students started to rush towards us in panic.

"I need to sit." I sputtered between spasms looking pleadingly at Edward as other students shouted my name.

"Is she alright?" Angela questioned running towards us with Mike and Jessica in tow.

I threw a desperate look to Edward before he turned to Angela with an angelic smile murmuring, "Asthma. She'll be fine. She just needs to sit."

Angela muttered some response I didn't catch as she and the other students slowly sauntered back to the task at hand. Edward still gripping my arm slowly ushered me towards a fallen tree to sit on.

"Are you alright?" he whispered worry coloring his voice as I collapsed onto the makeshift bench leaning my head against the cool bark of the tree closing my eyes.

"I'll be fine. I just need to rest a minute." I muttered trying to steady my voice. The worst was over but sitting would help me recoup what little strength I had to make it through the rest of the trip.

While concentrating on taking slow breaths through my nose, I heard Edward take a seat somewhere close by.

"You should have told me you needed to sit." Edwards musical voice whispered almost angrily as I opened my eyes to look at him.

He was sitting on the fallen tree as far away from me as possible, worry marring his gorgeous face.

"I was about to." I stated still sounding breathless trying to smile reassuringly. But I was certain that was not conveyed because Edward grimaced possibly looking more concerned than before.

"Really, it will be fine." I reassured before adding, "This is not the first time this has happened."

"Does this happen a lot?" He asked his voice laced with the worry so evident on his face.

"No, not really." I murmured between steadying breaths, "but…" I stopped suddenly wincing as I looked into his topaz eyes, realizing that I was about the wade into the murky waters that were my deepest fears.

Considering that I had already been worrying about the fact that all my symptoms were progressing at a very rapid rate but I had been able to keep this fact from Charlie and Renee. There was no reason that I needed to open the flood gates to the gorgeous boy next sitting beside me, who could barely stand me.

"But what?" he asked insistently his hypnotic eyes probing into mine fiercely. Effectively accelerating my heart and stealing my already weak breath.

The depth of his gaze entranced me, so I was unable to look away. I blurted out the truth before a coherent thought could enter my head, "But it's getting worse."

Thankfully, he looked away from me then as I again focused on taking steady breaths. I watched him as he took his own unsteady breath.

"How long?" He asked almost wistfully. It took me a moment to realize what he was asking but then it struck me that he wanted to know how long I had to live. I was slightly relieved that he had not asked the question out right since there were still other students around shooting concerned glances in our direction.

My eyebrows rose in surprise flushing slightly as I answered, "It depends really."

"What do you mean?" he asked looking back at me his expression void of all emotion.

"Well the doctor in Phoenix said at best guess six months. It may be as little as six weeks or as much as a year." I stated calmly waiting for some reaction from him. His eyes flickered slightly with something maybe sadness but it was gone so quickly that I had no time to interpret the emotion so I added smiling, "It all depends. But I am sure you know that, a doctor's son and all."

"Right." He murmured dazzling me again with his beautiful crooked smile.

We continued to stare at one another until he abruptly looked away from me again. I looked towards the path before closing my eyes to concentrate on my breathing once more. I opened my eyes about to suggest that we get on our way but he was staring at me with frustration coloring his eyes.

"What?" I asked tilting my head slightly to the left never removing my eyes from his.

"You take this all so coolly. It seems quite unnatural." He whispered his eyes piercing mine again. I could feel my blush creeping back up to a nice scarlet as my heart accelerated.

I just looked at him for a few minutes trying to figure out if I should answer his question or walk away now. I had already revealed so much about myself in an attempt to get him to like me. But did I really want him to understand me? I knew the answer right away. I did I wanted him to understand me. I wanted someone to understand.

"What should I do?" I asked smiling slightly before whispering, "Should I be angry or sad. What's the point? I could curse god or the world for what I am going through but wouldn't make any difference. I would still be dying and the world will still go on. All that will do is make me more miserable."

He just stared at me with an expression that I couldn't place or understand. I looked away from him then knowing that I had to get away from him. I could very easily fall in love with this strange boy who it was so easy for me to talk to and that would be a huge mistake. I could never give him anything but heartache.

_As if this beautiful god would really care about someone as pathetic as you_ a dark voice whispered in the back of my head. I stared down at my hands as tears began to sting my eyes. I knew the voice was right. I was being a complete idiot.

I stood up quickly afraid to look at Edward as I muttered, "I am not feeling all that well. I think I am going to go back to the bus."

I began to walk back towards the path but Edward was beside me before I could even make two steps. I didn't look up at him but I could see his shoes next to mine as I watched my feet.

"I'm sorry if I have upset you." He whispered quietly in his wonderful velvet voice. I could hear the remorse very evident in his voice.

"No you didn't. I'm just really tired." I whispered trying to smile reassuringly but still could not look up at him. But I could feel his eyes boring into my face so I knew he would see the gesture.

"Bella." He said very gently grabbing my arm to stop me. My heart picked up at the contact but I was not prepared for what he did next. His cool marble fingers touched my chin forcing my face to look up at him. The feeling that coursed through my body was electric. The sensation of it shocked me and I quickly jerked my face way staring into his eyes, mine wide with confusion.

"I am so sorry." He muttered becoming a statue before me. I just continued to stare at him as I watched the emotions play across his beautiful face. Confusion, excitement, remorse then finally loathing but for who I could not be sure. Loathing because of me or was that self loathing. I just continued to stare at him trying to make sense of his emotions and mine.

I realized then that my lungs hurt and I knew why. I was holding my breath, so I quickly breathed out. Then Edwards face so close to mine suddenly looked in intense pain. I blinked confused beyond words and he was gone.

I looked around trying to find him. I closed my eyes again shaking my head trying to clear the odd daze that had filled it the moment that Edward had touched my face. When I opened them Edward was still gone and so were the rest of the students I realized as panic set in.

In the time that Edward and I had been talking the rest of the students had gone on to try to find there plant specimens. I took a quick calming breath as I made my way back to the path just ahead of me. I only wanted to think about what had just happened between Edward and me. But I knew that I needed to get back on the path and head towards the bus before I got myself lost.

So I concentrated on my feet as I followed the path in what I hoped was the way back to the bus. I looked around me occasionally for other students but when I saw none after a few minutes I started to panic again. Taking quick breaths in my already weak lungs quickly made me light head. My hands went clammy and sweat beaded down my neck again from the panic and the weakness.

I looked up away from my feet focusing on my surroundings. The large green trees surrounding me all looked the same. I glanced around me looking for anything that I recognized when I realized the mistake I had made by looking away from my feet.

Suddenly, my left foot caught something throwing me face first into a tree. My head thudded off the tree as I stumbled backward grabbing my head. My internal balance upset by the head blow caused me to stumble slightly sideways. Before I could grab something to stop myself my feet lost all contact with the ground. My back slammed into the ground as the air was forced out of my lungs cutting off any scream that might have come. Then I was rolling like a snowball down a cliff gaining speed as I went. My limbs flailing wildly on the sides of my body. My wrist made sharp contact with something forcing it back until it snapped. Then I heard a scream escape my lips before my body stopped with a thud in the soft and squishy.

I laid there as time passed unable to open my eyes. Mentally calculating the condition that my body was in. My back was probably severely bruised as well as the rest of my body. My left ankle throbbed so it was probably sprained or broken. My right wrist was definitely broken, of that I was sure. I breathed in deeply waiting for the smell of blood to reach me. But I didn't smell any so hopefully I did not have any deep cuts that might need stitches.

Slowly, using my good hand I pushed myself up into a sitting position. My head gave a sharp throb causing me to suck in a painful breath. I opened my eyes taking in my surroundings but everything was slightly blurred and green.

_I had a concussion_ I noted with a grimace.

I looked around for several minutes trying to clear my head and figure out my next move. For lack of anything coming to me I looked down at my body running my good hand all over me checking for any blood. Thankfully I did not seem to be bleeding from anywhere so at least I wouldn't be even more lightheaded.

The bush in front of me rustled slightly drawing my attention. I saw a large patch of brown meshing with the green. Adrenaline kicked in as I realized the brown was growling menacingly at me. I saw the something leap at me at the same moment someone shouted my name.

My head snapped painfully to the sound to see Edward and Alice standing at the top of the hill that I had just tumbled down with matching looks of horror. Edward moved more quickly than humanly possible to collide with the creature in mid air. I blinked and Alice was by my side talking to me. I tried to focus on her but I could not keep my eyes on her as I focused on Edward as he and the brown monster snarled and growled at one another. Then Edward was on the creatures back before throwing it effortlessly into a nearby tree. The tree snapped as the creature crumbled to the ground.

Instantaneously, Edward was at my side looking down at me with deep concern.

"Bella." He shouted at me. I could see his lips move but his voice sounded very far away as heaviness settled into my body.

"Bella, are you alright?" Alice asked next to me. I turned to look at her afraid to pull my eyes away from Edwards. But I finally looked at her face. My fuzzy head noted that she looked very worried even scared. I knew I had to sooth her. With extreme effort I raised my good hand to touch her face.

"Fine." I mumbled trying to smile before my head throbbed excruciatingly and everything went black.


	6. The Hospital

I vaguely remembered the next few hours as I was loaded into the ambulance with Alice at my side and taken to the hospital. I drifted in and out as I was taken for CAT scans and X-rays. Charlie was currently trying to find something to eat when I faintly heard someone walk into the room.

"Bella." A soft warm velvety voice whispered claiming my scattered attention.

I blinked focusing on the beautiful blond doctor standing over me with a slight smile on his full lips. I smiled back before whispering, "Hello, Dr. Cullen."

"So how are you feeling?" Dr. Cullen asked lightly probing my head with his cool fingers. His cold touch felt nice on my warm head, soothing in a way.

"I'm fine." I sighed laying my head back ready to sink into my previous oblivion as Dr. Cullen flipped through my chart.

"Well as I am sure you know. You have a concussion and a broken wrist. Your right ankle is severely sprained and you will have to be on crutches for a few weeks. All the rest is just minor bruising. Your ribs and back will probably be very tender for at least the rest of the week but other than that you should be fine." He said smiling looking up from my chart.

"So I can go home?" I asked longingly not wanting to be in the hospital any longer than possibly necessary.

Dr. Cullen surveyed me with a slightly devious expression, tipping his head to the side as he looked around the room.

"Sorry but no. You're going to have to say over night. And there is something that I would like to talk to you about while your father is out of the room." He stated his golden eyes penetrating mine.

I stared up at him as my heart lodged in my throat. I bit down on my lip fighting panic as a faint ringing sounded in my ears.

"What's wrong Dr. Cullen?" I asked my voice wavering breathlessly.

"Well, it would seem that you have not been honest with me Bella. I told you to notify me immediately if your prior symptoms were getting any worse and my son has informed me that you have noticed an increase in your regression." He explained sternly making me feel like a scolded child.

"Tattletale." I muttered flushing, my expression sullen. Dr. Cullen burst out in a musical laugh smiling brilliantly at me.

"Well I guess that confirms the Edward at least was being honest." Dr. Cullen laughed his warm eyes twinkling.

I rolled my eyes smiling back at him before answering sullenly, "Yes, I have notice more change than I let on."

"Well now since that is cleared up. I feel the need to inform you that is why I will be keeping you over night. I would like to run some tests while you are already in here. So that I don't have to make you come back to my office tomorrow." He explained his expression devious and concerned at the same time.

I sighed in defeat before muttering, "Pretty sneaky Dr. Cullen. Are you afraid that I am going to run away?"

"Call me Carlisle please Bella. And no I am not afraid that you are going to run away on me. But I have come to realize that I have to keep a very close eye on you my dear." He laughed as I winced at the mention of very close eye.

Then he asked casually, "How is the pain? Do you need any more pain meds?"

I looked up at him laughing asking, "Would you like to comatose me?"

"No." he muttered smiling brightly.

"Then no. I am completely comfortable." I stated smiling reflecting on the fact that I was in no pain whatsoever. I was sure that all the pain meds were actually taking their toll on my internal filter from my thoughts to my mouth. I was certain that I was acting fairly loopy and much less inhibited than I would be normally.

He smiled at me turning to leave when something occurred to me and I asked, "Is it possible that we could keep the fact of why I am staying tonight from Charlie. I really don't want him to worry anymore than necessary. I mean if the tests show anything is worse than expected I will talk to him. But for tonight could we keep it between ourselves."

Carlisle thought this over for a few minutes his brow creasing before answering, "Bella since you are under 18 then I will have to talk with your father if your results show that your condition is worse than expected. But until we get the results I promise that I will give not indication to your father that your condition is worse than initially thought."

I looked up at him smiling as he put him hand on the door of my room.

"Thank You." I whispered hoping that he could hear the gratitude in my voice.

"Your very welcome, Bella." He said smiling leaving my room.

My head felt extremely heavy so I laid it back into the pillows allowing the blackness to swallow me.

Hours later after I had finally convinced Charlie to go home and Renee not to come to Forks, I sat in my hospital room staring blankly at the figures on the TV. I was starting to feel a lot of the pain but my mind was finally working right. All I could think about was what had happened in those last few minutes before I had fainted.

It was fuzzy and couldn't have possibly have been real but I also knew what I had seen. I had seen Alice move faster than the speed of light to get to my side before I could blink. I had seen Edward throw a bear into a tree like a rag doll. Then, as Alice, within a blink he was standing over me. In my mind I knew what I had seen however the logical part of me was wondering if I was going insane. Had it been a product of the concussion? Or was my brain just finally giving out on me as the rest of my body was?

This thought hurt my heart. My mind was the only thing I had left and now it was going too. Or was it? I questioned again for the millionth time. It was while I sat obsessing over this that I heard the door knob of my room turn. I distinctively expected the nurse but I turned toward the sound anyway.

Alice peeked her head in the door smiling brightly at me. I smiled as brightly as possible back as she danced into my room. I watched her come towards me as a faint hint of bronze caught my attention. I immediately zoned in on the color only to be pierced by the warm remorseful eyes of Edward Cullen.

I narrowed my eyes at him, my best attempt at scowling at the Adonis, before greeting him with a resounding, "Hello narc."

Confusion filled his beautiful face as he tried to understand my comment but I turned all my attention to the glowing face laughing down at me.

As she swiped the hair out of my face giggling, she asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I muttered as Edward repeated my comment under his breath perplexed.

Alice met my eyes with a knowing look before turning to her brother to explain, "You ratted her out Edward."

I just starred at her questioningly trying to understand how she always knew everything but she smiled back at me as Edward whispered, "Oh."

I looked back at him still attempting to scowl, "You know I would be out of here by now if you had not opened your big mouth."

"I am very sorry if I upset you." Edward whispered stopping at the foot of my bed but his expression didn't look as repentant as I thought it should. So I focused my attention on his sister as my previous train of thought flooded back into my mind.

I stared up at Alice, a blush creeping up my face as I thought of what I needed to ask her. Taking a steadying breath I asked, "We're friends aren't we Alice."

"Yes." She whispered down at me looking a little worried by my expression. I bit down on my lip fidgeting a little as I stared down at my hands.

"Would you tell me the truth if I asked you something?" I asked unable to look up at her. She had a way of knowing things, my guess was she was psychic, but I knew that I had to ask what had happened if I was ever going to be able to retain my sanity.

She never answered my question so I was forced to look into her beautiful face, her expression was torn. I chanced a glance at Edward but his expression was completely void of all expression so I focused again on Alice, repeating my question.

She mauled over it for a few excruciating minutes her smooth forehead puckering before asking, "What do you need to ask me Bella."

"Well when I feel down the hill, I bumped my head, which I am sure that you know. But I could swear that I saw some things that I could not have possibly seen. Now I am kinda freaking out afraid that I might be going a little crazy, so could you please explain to me how Edward and you got to me before the bear attacked." I asked very quickly in a small voice knowing that if I explained the whole story then I would surely be taking a trip to the loony bin.

"Bella." She whispered he beautiful eyes blank.

I turned my eyes to Edward but his expression was exactly the same. I stared between the two of them, when I realized they were wearing exactly the same expression, a mask. It was then that I knew that I was not crazy and they were going to lie to me.

Edward opened his mouth to speak to but I cut him off looking pleadingly into his eyes, "Look I am not going to tell anyone. No one would believe me anyway. But mostly because you guys have been so nice to me and not told anyone about me. And well I am pretty sick and my mind is really the only thing that I have not giving out on me. So please don't make me believe that I am losing that too if I'm not." I tried to retain the tears that I knew were coming as I added, "Please don't lie to me."

My words effected them both equally as they sucked in a painful breath looking at one another. Tears were brimming in my eyes as I looked between there two angelic faces asking almost hysterically, "Am I crazy?"

Surprisingly, Edward was the one to answer me, "You're not crazy Bella."

"Edward." Alice shouted a smile forming on her lips as she stared straight at her brother.

They stared at each other silently for a few seconds before Edward burst out angrily, "Was I supposed to lie to her then."

Alice's face was positively glowing with excitement as she stated, "No Edward. But I can't believe that you did." Then she looked at me whispering, "Bravo Bella."

Alice's smile grew tenfold as she looked to me. I shook my head my brows furrowing as I tried to figure out there strange exchange. Then I scowled at Alice as she looked back at her brother ignoring me for a few minutes more.

"So have you realized that I am still in the room?" I asked sarcastically, unable to take the silence anymore.

Alice's laughter was infectious as the three of us burst out laughing. I was seriously relieved that I was not going insane but at the same time I was extremely curious to figure out what the Cullen's actually were.

Maybe superheros really did exist, I thought laughing even harder at the absurdity until my ribs were throbbing in protest.

I leaned back into my bed wrapping my arms around my stomach inconspicuously trying to sooth the ache. I was not that inconspicuous though and Edward noticed leaning a little closer to me as he whispered, "Are you alright? Do you need anything? More pain medication."

"I'm fine." I muttered wincing at the thought of getting any pain medication right at this moment. I needed answers not to be sleeping.

He would not quit analyzing my every movement however so I asked the first thing that popped into my head, "So are you going to tell me what you are?"

Alice laughed at me not surprised in the least by my question but Edward's face got even paler than usual. Actually I thought that he might be sick.

"Edward will have to answer that one." Alice laughed but the look on Edward's face was incredulous as he stared at his sister.

"But he doesn't even like me. Why would he answer?" I blurted out unthinkly. My eyes widen in shock as I realized what had actually come out of my mouth. My face flushed scarlet as I threw my hands over it, hoping a whole would open in the ground to swallow me.

Alice just laughed merrily as Edward whispered almost inaudibly, "That's not true."

My face shot out of my hands as I stared into his earnest topaz gaze. His eyes melted and smoldered piercing into mine. The strange electricity that had been between us when Edward had touched me sparked between us almost vibrating the air between out locked eyes. He was the first to look away as I could not force myself to do so but I was also slightly relieved since I would have started hyperventilating. My breath was coming erratically as I tried to calm it when I noticed Alice next to me squealing in delight, she was pouncing in place her body almost vibrating in her excitement.

"Sorry Bella. I have to go prepare Jasper." She squealed grabbing my good hand.

I looked at her in utter confusion trying to clear my head of the strange daze that filled it so that I could try to understand Alice's curious statement. I thought it over for a second but it still did not make sense so I asked, "For what?"

Edward groaned as she answered, "Well you'll be riding to school with us of course."

She kissed me quickly on the cheek squeezing my hand before bounding out of the room.

"Did I miss something?" I asked turning my attention back to Edward. He still looked slightly shaken but he met my gaze muttering, "No."

"Is she psychic then?" I asked figuring at this point I couldn't rule out anything unexplainable.

He smirked at me with an amused expression answering, "In a matter of speaking."

I sighed in relief resting back into my pillows stating, "Well that explains a lot."

He laughed at me, I wondered at the sound as his musical voice danced off the walls. I let the sound wash over me closing my eyes trying to commit it to memory. I waited for the beautiful sound to end before opening my eyes again. Edward just gazed at me his expression torn, so many undisclosed emotions churning in his light features. The longer he stared the harder it was to breath so I knew that I had to look away.

The silence stretched on as my previous curiosity outweighing my nervousness when I blurted out, "So are you going to tell me what you are?"

"Are you going to let it go?" he countered anger flashing in his eyes.

My jaw jutted as I crossed my arms in front of me, my temper flared.

"Probably not." I said angerly.

He smirked at me as I eyed him expectantly then answered, "Well probably not then."

We were silent as I looked away from him my temper fizzling out as quickly as it flared. I kept my arms crossed though despite the protest in my broken wrist. I tried to look anywhere but at him but my eyes were drawn to him like a plant to the sun. He sighed drawing my attention and he was pacing in front of my bed. His expression was torn like he was having some kind of internal war with himself; he ran his hand through his bronze locks sighing again.

He looked toward the door then at me as I asked, "Are you leaving?"

My heart pained at the thought of him going but I did not let it show on my face or in my eyes. I couldn't look at him though, just incase, so I studied the blue brace on my wrist.

"I should but I don't think I am." He whispered very close to me and I looked up to see him sitting in the chair beside my bed.

"Oh" I muttered stupidly mesmerized by his beautiful face so close to mine.

"I need to apologize to you." He whispered still holding my gaze.

I couldn't think. His words meshed into one as I fought his affect on me. I tried to unlock myself from his face so that I could converse with him coherently.

"What?" I asked still unable to clear the haze but he was staring at me expectantly and I knew that I had to say something.

Thankfully he gave me a hint, his eyes went from my face to my injured body then back to my face. Like a light bulb going off it finally made sense and I laughed.

His brow furrowed as he probably thought I was crazy but his expression only made me laugh harder. He waited patiently for my fit of giggles to end.

I shook my head still smiling at him as I stated, "Edward you have nothing to be sorry about. I just fell that is not your fault."

"But if I had not run off so ungentlemanly then you would not have fell." He stated fiercely as though he was admitting a great flaw in his character.

"Do you realize how many broken bones I have had in my life?" I asked but he shook his head no so I continued, "10 and 5 concussions. Oh and more bruises, scrapes and stitches than a person can count. Me and walking well we don't get along so well."

He looked at me incredulously for a few seconds before he burst out laughing once again. I laughed with him by my ribs were really starting to ache. Abruptly, Edward jumped out of his seat looking at the door then back to me.

"Bella I have to go." He muttered rushing to the door and leaving.

I watched him leave in awed silence as I tried for the second time that day to figure out what I had done wrong. As I sat obsessing over his strange behavior as a nurse came in pushing a tray with lots of suspicious looking vials.

I moaned audibly as she looked at my chart asking, "Are you Isabella Marie Swan. I am here to give you some pain meds and take some blood."

"Yes." I whispered in a little voice closing my eyes and turning my head. I let the images of the day wash through my brain as I tried to solve the puzzle that was the Cullen's.

Then it struck me that Edward had denied that fact that he didn't like me. I wasn't exactly sure what that implied but the thought made me smile widely as the vile nurse stuck the needle in my arm.


	7. The Cullens

The morning was extremely eventful. I had been escorted out of my room at least a half a dozen times for various tests that Carlisle had needed done. Then when I had finally thought I would be able to have a little piece, Charlie and the doctor had shown up towing my newest torture device, crutches. I had tried to use them at least 20 times, each time nearly face planting on the hard linoleum floor. Thankfully, Carlisle had very fast reflexes and was able to catch me each time.

Carlisle decided to give up on the thought of crutches, on my last attempt when I was finally getting the hang of it. Due to the fact the right crutch slipped crossing in front of the left causing me to tumble sideways injuring my ankle further and nearly cracking the cast they had just fit to my wrist. He left my room to find me a wheelchair, shaking his head muttering something about being hazardous to my health.

Charlie left my room shortly after, probably to explode with the laughter that I knew he had been containing as I had attempted to walk on the dangerous wooden sticks.

So here I sat on the edge of my bed my face all hot, tired, cranky and sore. I had a horrendous headache from the concussion and lack of sleep. Of course, someone had been in to wake me every hour and check my vitals.

Like it was really so easy to sleep soundly in a hospital, I thought my bad mood weighing down on me.

Finally Carlisle was able to find me a wheelchair so that Charlie could take me home. The ride home was extremely uneventful. Charlie helped me up to my room as I bounced on my good leg. I fell on my bed in exhaustion, falling immediately into a dreamless sleep.

When I woke the only things my groggy mind could comprehend was the fact my room was dark and I was in pain. I could feel every muscle in my body only because everyone felt as though they had been ripped from my bones. I moaned trying to roll onto my side but two large orbs glowed from the light on my nightstand. Unable to do anything else, I prepared to scream as a hand shot over my mouth. I tried to struggle adrenaline momentarily taking away my pain.

Suddenly my room was flooded with light as Alice Cullen's innocent pale face smiled brightly at me. My body relaxed instantly as my heart resumed a healthier rhythm.

"What are you doing Bella? You're going to hurt yourself struggling like that." She chided looking down at me sternly before removing her hand.

"Are you kidding me Alice?" I gasped trying to control my erratic breathing then added, "What in the world are you doing here."

"Well I came over after school since I figured that you were going to need some help getting around but you were sleeping so I came back and I figured that I would come up here and check on you but you were still sleeping." She whispered sitting next to me on the bed.

I struggled to get up wincing at the pain but Alice easily righted me sliding next to me in the bed.

"Oh so why did you try to suffocate me then?" I asked still a little miffed that I had over reacted so much.

She looked at me skeptically, giggling before answering, "I wasn't trying to suffocate you Bella but I didn't figure you would want your father to rush to your aid because you freaked out."

"Very funny, Alice."I stated sarcastically only causing her to laugh harder.

The more I thought about it I realized how funny the situation really was but I was in too much pain to laugh so I just scowled at her.

"Oh come on Bella. You can't really be mad at me; I only stopped by to help." She stated her bottom lip jutting out into a perfect pout.

I instantly felt bad and relaxed my features whispering, "Sorry."

She smiled at me deviously bounding off my bed as I hear her mutter something about too easy. I watched her curiously as she inspected my room; she was everywhere at once until she opened my closet door. I heard her shriek in horror as she took in my wardrobe, or lack of it would probably be a better word.

"Are these really all your clothes?" she asked instantly at my side, her face horrified.

"Yeah." I muttered weakly unable to understand her response to my clothing.

It wasn't really that bad, I mean sure there was not a lot there but how many pairs of jeans did a person really need. Evidently, much more than I had, I concluded as Alice sighed her expression a mix of shock and horror.

"Well, I will just have to take you shopping." She concluded taking her seat next to me once more.

I looked at her trying to understand her as she stared back at me expectantly. I took in her whole appearance with her perfectly tailored blue top and perfect fit jeans; well of course my clothes would appear highly outdated. But, I knew that I would never be able to afford the clothes that she would want to stuff me in so I tried to think of a polite way to decline.

As always she was one step ahead of me stating in a stern no argument voice, "We're going shopping Bella. I can't have my best friend dressing like a pauper."

I looked at her a little upset by her statement muttering as nicely as possible, "Alice I really don't think I can afford…" then it occurred to me Alice had just called me her best friend.

Heartfelt tears stung my eyes as I asked, "wait did you just call me your best friend?"

I had never had a friend before let alone someone who thought of me as their best friend. She smiled at me brilliantly shaking her head before hugging me very gently whispering, "Of course."

"But you barely even know me." I whispered trying to squelch the excitement running through me.

"Bella." She said staring at me, her delicate eyebrows shooting up as though I was missing something very obvious.

"Oh right. Edward told me your kinda psychic." I whispered flushing in my embarrassment at forgetting that small fact.

"Kinda." She muttered wagging her little eyebrows at me.

I giggled as much as my body would allow. Alice jumped lightly off the bed looking at me sternly.

"No Bella I will not tell you what your future holds. That would just ruin all my fun." She whispered smiling as I had just made the decision to ask her.

"I didn't ask." I stated my mouth hanging open slightly in shock.

That was really going to take some getting used to. I wonder how the rest of her family was able to deal with it all the time. Then again they might all be psychic for all I knew. Edward definitely had something, the way he read people. As his name popped into my brain, my heart gave a little flip flop.

Alice gained my attention suddenly by asking, "Would you like help showering."

I flushed embarrassed but then realized there was no possible way I was going to do it myself

Smiling great fully I whispered, "Yeah that would be great. Thanks."

The rest of the night flew by as Alice and I talked, well mostly Alice, boy did that girl have some kind of energy. She told me all about her family, skimming noticeably over some parts but I didn't question too much. I was desperately curious about all her family so I just let her tell me all she could and before I knew it I was yawning.

"I should let you sleep. You have a big day tomorrow." Alice whispered slipping out of my bed.

"Why?" I asked my eyes narrowing suddenly nervous of her answer. I vaguely remembered her mentioning something the prior day about me riding to school with her family.

"You're meeting the rest of us tomorrow, silly. Well except for Esme but that will come soon enough. She is so excited to meet you Bella." Alice said her mouth running in hyper speed.

I blinked trying to comprehend all she had said my stomach jumping into my throat.

"You know that um Charlie can drive me to school. I don't want to inconvenience you or anything" I stuttered suddenly afraid and excited to meet the rest of her family.

I knew that my apprehension was simply idiotic, since she had been nothing but nice to me but that didn't seem to help my nerves one bit.

"Don't be silly. We want to. Everyone is really excited to meet you." She said smiling brightly before kissing me on the cheek and bounding out my room.

I stared after her taking deep breaths to calm my nerves. A part of me was really excited to meet the rest of them and maybe unravel the mystery but it was drowned out by my nerves. Surely, I would make a complete fool of myself. I rolled my eyes lying back in my bed thinking it would be a long night but the next thing I knew someone was gently shaking me awake. I squinted my eyes trying to understand what was going on when Alice whispered brightly, "Morning."

In that one moment, wanted my boring, pathetic, friendless life back.

I had to admit to I was feeling much better today. My headache was controllable and my body felt sore and ache but only a little more intense then I was used to. Still I contemplated taking another day of rest. But Alice wouldn't hear of it as she used me as a living Barbie.

I had never taken so much care in my appearance as Alice did that morning, carefully choosing clothing that was complimenting as well as concealing all my bruises. Adding little touches of cover up here and there to make sure that my face was bruise and scrape free. I was not quite sure where the makeup had come from since I didn't own it but had come to the conclusion quickly questioning Alice got me nowhere.

When she was done she helped me to stand in front of the mirror to survey her work. I had to admit she was really good at what she did. The deep blue sweater and kaki skirt hide all my bruising and ankle brace as well as complementing my skin and my extremely thin frame. My dull brown hair was shining and radiate as it fell in soft waves down my back.

"What do you think?" Alice asked slightly nervous as I stared shocked at the person standing before me a little afraid I might be seeing things.

"I look great." I muttered shocked by my appearance. I looked healthy and shining instead of pale, thin and sickly.

"Great." She shouted excitedly pulling me towards the door, "Let's feed you then it is time to go."

Alice helped me down the stairs then sat watching my every movement as I choked down a pop tart. She was not completely happy until I had ingested the whole thing but when I offered her something she made a face muttering about eating before she left.

I was sitting waiting nervously for us to go when something occurred to me.

"Alice if they are picking us up how did you get here?" I asked staring at her intently.

"Well I could tell you but then I would have to kill you." She teased bounding towards the door before giddily adding, "There here."

My heart thudded in my chest as my hands went clammy, I felt like I was in the middle of a horror movie as Alice helped me to my chair grabbing my things and pushing me out the door.

As soon as my chair hit the pavement of the driveway, a silver Volvo pulled into my drive. I could feel my chair vibrate as Alice danced behind me in excitement. I swallowed audibly as Edward, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie gracefully exited the vehicle.

They glided up to me, with a grace that I could never master, to stand gloriously in front of me. Everyone but Edward smiled down at me as I tried to smile back. Edward just stared at me slightly awed causing me to look down, to make sure that I had not forgotten a vital article of clothing.

Blushing fiercely, I looked up as Alice started to introduce everyone.

"Bella, this is Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper." Alice said stepping out from behind my chair and point to everyone as she called there name.

"Hi." I whispered shyly surprised that my nervousness had suddenly vanished.

Emmett came towards me first smiling brightly before rumpling my hair saying, "Hey there, as the small annoying one said I'm Emmett."

The force of him rumpling my hair slightly shocked my already battered brain but I smiled back at him thankful he had accepted me so quickly.

"Emmett you're going to scare the poor girl." The beautiful blond bombshell said before coming towards me extending her hand, "I'm Rosalie."

I took her hand gingerly with my good hand shaking it. She smiled blindingly at me before turning to Alice uttering, "She's sweet Alice but we need to take her shopping."

I blushed further rolling my eyes as the last member of the family walked up to standing next to Alice.

"Hello Bella, I'm Jasper." He whispered in a sweet southern drawl looking to Alice before extending his hand to me smiling.

"It's nice to meet you." I stated feeling strangely at ease as I shook Jaspers outstretched hand.

I had notice though during the whole exchange that Edward had not uttered a word nor had he taken his penetrating gaze from me. Alice looked at him now expectantly extending her hands like Vana White asking, "What do you think?"

I looked away from him impossibly blushing deeper but he didn't say anything until Emmett walked over to him elbow him in the ribs. He looked at his brother scowling as Emmett boomed, "Alice asked you a question idiot."

Edward continued to scowl at his brother before abruptly walking up behind me and pushing my chair forward. The rest of the family took this as the cue and walked towards the car.

Just as we reached the Volvo, Edward leaned down whispering in my ear, "You look absolutely beautiful."

I was beyond words as I tried to reign in the speed of my heart and the wonderful feelings coursing though me. He is just being polite, I told myself over and over again as he stopped my chair in front of the passenger door.

I hadn't noticed Emmett standing there until he hauled me out of my chair as I gasped in shock and place me very gently into the car.

"I could have gotten her." Edward shouted angrily glaring at his brother.

"Oh I know." Emmett said winking playfully at me before turning to Edward and adding, "But I think you have had enough temptation for one day."

Edward growled as Emmett got laughingly into the back seat. Edward was in the car within seconds and we were off as I tried to understand Emmett's strange words and the feelings that Edward brought out in me. I was extremely surprised that we all fit in the Volvo but with everyone doubled up in the back seat, it worked out fine. I knew that my father would not approve but who was I to complain.

**Authors Notes: Well let me know what you think. Please review if you like the story or not, what I should change anything. I love constructive criticism.**


	8. Realizing

I tried to apologize again for the inconvenience that I was causing but they would hear nothing of it. They all seemed thoroughly happy to be having me join them. Well except for Edward, he seemed slightly tense the whole ride there. The ride went by much too quickly; I was disappointed when we pulled into the school parking lot. It was really comforting to listen to Alice and Emmett banter back and forth.

Emmett unloaded me much the same way but Edward never said a word only his eyes gave him away as they tightened the slightest bit. I was so caught up in the Cullen's as they laughed and joked with me wheeling me onto the curb that I didn't notice the crowd of students that was coming towards me. Mike, Jessica and Angela looked shocked and slightly awed as they took in the family surrounding me. I flushed bright red trying to sooth their concern as all questioned how I was doing.

All the attention made me very nervous but I was still calmer then I would usually be as I smiled answering their questions.

Then I was flying across the walkway gripping my chair in fright as Emmett hauled my wheelchair towards my first class muttering, "Well we better get her to class."

Suddenly, the chair stopped throwing me forward forcefully but Edward caught me before I was projected out of the chair. He glared at Emmett before turning to me to ask, "Are you alright?"

I couldn't think straight since I was crushed against Edward's hard muscular chest his stone arms gripping my waist softly. So I nodded mutely as he quickly righted me in my chair before turning again to his brother, his expression livid.

"You could have hurt her, Emmett." His voice seething as he pushed Emmett out of the way taking the handles of my chair.

Edward started to push me gently forward but Emmett lodged his foot in front of the wheel squatting down so that our eyes were on the same level. His large puppy dog face looked so remorseful as he asked, "Are you alright? I am really sorry about that you just looked like you wanted to get out of there."

"I'm fine really." I whispered embarrassed as he smiled hugely at me rumpling my hair again, only much gentler this time.

Rosalie glided up beside her boyfriend as looking down at me whispering, "His heart is usually in the right place." Then she turned to Emmett saying sternly, "But he tends to use a little too much effort."

I smiled at them both a little envious as Emmett grabbed her around the waist hugging her fiercely saying, "Aw baby."

I didn't get to watch the rest of the exchange since Edward chose that moment to push me into my classroom as Alice followed. I thanked them profusely for all there help as they both made sure I was comfortable before going to their own classes.

The next three hours I was flushed and embarrassed as one of my generous classmates ushered me in and out of classes. Jessica had tried to engage me in small talk on many occasions but thankfully I was always saved by a teacher. I knew it was inevitable though since she was the crowd I sat with at lunch. I wished that I could bolster up the courage to sit at the Cullen table but they had already helped me out so much that I couldn't impose on them anymore, just to avoid Jessica's questioning. I was sure that no matter what she would catch up with me sometime, it was probably better just to get it over with.

As my fourth hour ended, my nerves coiled into knots as Angela graciously helped me through the lunch line and wheeled me to our table. As she went to get her food I looked for Jessica but thankfully she was engaged in conversation with a blond girl, whose name I couldn't remember. So I had a few minutes to calm my nerves before she sat down. I chanced a look at the Cullen table; Emmett caught my eye and winked. I laughed flushing, but as I tried to look away my eyes met Edward's. My heart picked up rhythm as my smile of its own accord grew wider. The smile he returned was blinding so I forced myself to look away to insure that I would not hyperventilate. I had to focus and be coherent if I was going to get thorough the lunch hour without giving too much away. I wasn't the greatest liar but this was really important so I knew I had to do it flawlessly.

"Hey Bella how you feeling?" Mike Newton asked drawing my attention as he sat down next to me.

"Fine." I mumbled smiling as the seat on the other side of me moved. Jessica sat down next to me so I turned to look at her. Her face buzzed with the intensity of her curiosity. I smiled sheepishly at her, realizing I was in for it now.

"Angela and I tried to come to the hospital on Monday but they wouldn't let us in." Mike stated drawing my attention back to him.

"Really?" I asked surprised by his concern before adding, "You didn't have to do that. I was fine really, just fell."

"Well after your asthma attack, we weren't sure what was going on, just that the ambulance was coming to get you." Mike said his concern along with something else evident in his bright blue eyes.

"So what happened to you anyway?" Jessica asked cutting out my answer to Mike.

Oh great. Here we go. Let the interrogation begin, I thought turning to Jessica trying to fake a smile.

"Um, I'm not really sure. I know I tripped and fell down a raven I think. But it's pretty fuzzy, I blacked out for most of it." I said stumbling a little over my words, hoping I could leave out the Cullen's involvement as much as possible.

"Must have been some fall to break your arm and foot." Mike stated, his words conveying his remorse that I was hurt.

"Well I broke my wrist but my ankle is just sprained. It should be good to go in a week or two."

"Oh really." Mike said smiling his face excited for some reason I couldn't understand.

"Is it true that Edward and Alice Cullen helped you?" Jessica asked pulling me out my confusion at Mike's expression.

"Yeah, I guess. Alice rode with me to the hospital." I stated but Jessica looked disappointed.

"So are you guys like friends or something, I mean you rode with them to school today." She stated still fishing for information.

"We are now, I guess." I said flushing as everyone who had been eavesdropping on the conversation stared at me in muted shock.

"Wow." Jessica stated shocked before regaining her enthusiasm tenfold asking, "So what are they like? You know I don't think that they have ever associated with anyone not in their family."

"I don't know. There all really down to earth and friendly." I mumbled self-consciously trying to concentrate on Jessica and not all the other eyes staring at me.

Jessica looked exasperated, pushing for more information. "Oh come on Bella. I mean what are they really like? They have always seemed a little strange to me."

My cheeks felt like molten rock while irrational anger filled me as I whispered, "No there not strange at all, very normal actually."

The blond girl next to Jessica laughed at me as I turned to look at her.

"What?" I asked pertly still not able to rein in my anger.

She smiled an angelic smile at me, her eyes narrowing as she stated, "Well I am just wondering if you really know them at all. Or if they just felt sorry for you so they gave you a ride to school."

I stared at her dumbfounded while Mike came to my aid shouting, "Lauren!"

So that was the name of the evil devil child sitting beside Jessica, I thought as angry tears began to stink my eyes.

However, Lauren just took this as confirmation of her statement. I narrowed my eyes at her wishing I had the ability to walk so that I could just get close enough to punch the smug smile off her pretty face. The feeling surprised me since I was usually a non-violent person but this girl didn't know me. She had no idea who I was and for her just to assume that the Cullen's were helping me out of pity made me see red.

"Lauren what reason would Bella have to lie?" Mike questioned anger flashing in his boyish face.

"Oh I don't know." Lauren answered looking at me pointedly.

My brain was so involved in thinking of what I could do to destroy this girl that I didn't notice as Edward came up behind my chair until he whispered, "Alice wants to talk to you. Would you mind sitting at our table today."

I looked up at him smiling brilliantly as announced, "No that's fine. I'm done here anyway."

He started to wheel me away as I looked over my shoulder calling to Angela, "I'll talk to you later. Thanks for all your help."

"Yeah no problem." Angela said smiling radiantly at me.

Edward pushed me in silence for a few seconds before I asked in embarrassment, "I am guessing here but would I be right in my assumption that you all heard that."

"Yes." He stated and for the first time I realized that he was angry. I looked over my shoulder to try to gage his expression but the look in his eyes was deadly.

"Are you alright?" I asked realizing at once how stupid my question was.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" He countered smiling at me his rigid body relaxing slightly.

"Probably but you look like you might kill her." I stated his body relaxing more as he smiled crookedly at me.

"I might." He whispered simply as he pushed me up to his table.

"She wouldn't be worth the effort." I stated looking down at my hands. My anger faded quickly only to be replaced by embarrassment at the fact that Edward had to save me once again. This was really turning into a habit. Not a habit that I really minded but a habit all the same.

Lauren's words had really struck a chord with me though. Were they all helping me so much because they pitied me? Just the thought made my heart strike a painful note as I looked up meeting all their beautiful faces. But though there expressions were varied not one held pity for me just anger at the words that had been said to me.

Finally, Emmett spoke breaking the tense silence, "Normal huh?"

I smiled at him the dark sadness lifting instantly as I stated, "Boringly so."

The whole table burst into laughter. I found myself losing my self-consciousness as I relaxed into their playful banter. And though I could feel the eyes of all the student body boring into my back. It didn't matter because for some reason I felt comfortable.

Throughout the rest of the period, I tried not to notice Edward sitting next to me. But my eyes of their own accord found his. He smiled at me brilliantly before I looked away, flushing. As I tried to control my overactive heart, I realized that there was something there pulling at the strings of my heart. Something I could never acknowledge but it was there all the same.

Suddenly, the bell rang pulling me from my thoughts as Edward asked, "Ready?"

"Yeah." I muttered smiling as I bid everyone else farewell while Edward pushed me towards my Biology class.

He sat my bag on the desk sitting next to me. I stared at him expectantly hoping for him to speak but his head snapped to the door as his long white fingers tightened on the table. I followed his gaze trying to understand his strange behavior. Only to be met by the sight of Mike Newton walking towards me.

I looked back at Edward as he sighed, his angular features forming a fierce scowl. I looked at him questioningly but he just ran his hand through his wild bronze hair as Mike stopped at our table.

"Bella, I'm really sorry about what Lauren said today that was really uncalled for." Mike stated remorseful but I just smiled up at him my mind elsewhere.

"That alright, Mike. It wasn't really your fault." I said smiling as I tried to look back to Edward to read his expression.

"Yeah I know but I'm sorry anyway. So I um wanted to ask you something." He stated looking at Edward for the first time but his face paled considerably as he looked back to me.

"What?" I asked politely hoping to get this conversation over quickly so I could question the brooding god next to me.

"Well there is this dance next Friday and you said that your ankle should be healed by then so I kinda wondered if you would like to go." He stumbled careful to keep his eyes on my face.

I stared at him stupidly my mind trying to form a plausible excuse. Mike had been really nice to me today so I didn't want to hurt his feelings but hadn't I been trying to discourage his attentions as much as possible. Couldn't he take a hint? Plus there was no way that I could go to a dance; I would probably kill myself as well as anyone standing next to me.

"Thanks Mike but um I ahh." I stuttered wracking my brain but of course my personal knight in shining armor saved me once again stating coolly, "She can't Mike. She's already going with me."

My head snapped to in shock Edward as Mike mumbled, "Oh."

I didn't hear the rest of Mike's exchange as I stared my eyes wide at Edward but he just smiled at me crookedly. I shook my head trying to clear the buzzing intent on getting answers. Why would he say that to Mike? Did he realize the implications of what he had done? Now the whole school was going to think I was dating him. Not that I minded really, I thought my chest racing. But professor Banner started class then cutting off my questions.

The next hour time stood still as I waited for the hour to end. I looked toward the clock for the millionth time sighing as Edward smirked finding my impatience amusing. As I turned to glare at him looking at him full for the first time. His smile faltered as he read my expression suddenly very apprehensive.

Finally the bell rang signaling the end of class. Edward didn't say a word as he pushed me to the cafeteria to where I was to wait for the school day to end.

"I'll wait here." I stated as he stopped me setting my book bag on my lap. I dug through my bag taking out my IPod to give me time to think of the most diplomatic way to ask what the hell he was thinking.

I looked up at him then as he stood there rigidly waiting for me to speak. But he noticed my IPod and asked before I could speak, "You like classical music?"

I looked down at the song Claire de Lune before flushing as I answered, "Yeah it's soothing, I think." Then it occurred to me that he actually knew the music when most wouldn't so I added, "Do you listen to classical music?"

"Yes, it's one of my favorites." He whispered a strange excitement taking hold of his features.

His gaze muddled my mind so I couldn't think of a good way to ask what needed to be asked so I blurted out in frustration, "Why did you tell Mike that?"

"You looked like you were having a hard time thinking of an excuse so I gave you one." He whispered his features hiding any emotion that might be there.

"It's not that I don't really appreciate the effort, Edward. But do you realize what people are going to think now?" I asked, my heart clenching in irrational fear as he thought over my question. But surprisingly he smiled at me at me calming some of my fear before saying mildly, "Yes I have an idea."

Then his expression went brooding again as he asked, "Does that upset you?"

I stared at him perplexed. I couldn't understand him at all, I thought as the pace of my mind and body accelerated. The longer I waited the stiller he got so I answered, "Well no it's not that. It's just that well I don't want to ruin your reputation or anything."

I knew immediately that was not how I had wanted to put it but I couldn't think of a better explanation beyond your utterly gorgeous and I'm well me.

His body relaxed immediately at my answer but the more I rambled his face became frustrated so he asked, "Why would you ruin my reputation?"

Oh great did I really have to spell it out for him, I thought flushing brighter in my embarrassment.

I bite my lip looking down at my hands as I explained, "I thought it was kinda obvious but, well, your beautiful and smart and every girl here wants you. Where I on the other hand am boring, plain and slightly pathetic sitting helplessly in my wheel chair. I look more like a charity case than anything else really," I murmured stupidly but as I did Lauren's implications took a hold of me once more.

Anger welled in me as I glared at my hands adding sharply, "And by the way if you are doing all this out of pity. Don't. Because though I really appreciate everything you've done, I don't need your pity."

Edward didn't mutter a word as he kneeled down in front of me placing his cool fingers under my chin forcing me to look up at him. I tried not to meet his gaze but he just stood there till I did. Fear filled me as my eyes met his but it was quickly extinguished by his concerned sincerity as he whispered softly, "Bella I don't pity you."

His touch sent chills down my spine but I tried not to focus on that as he continued, "My family and I are helping you out because we genuinely like you. You should not listen to the selfish and egotistical mind of Lauren Mallory. She is just jealous because she does not have 1/100th of the beauty that you do."

I flushed bright scarlet as he said this, my mind and heart dancing at his beautiful words. I wanted to understand this further but the bell rang signaling he was late for class causing him to drop my face. The moment his fingers left my face I craved them back.

"Will you be ok?" he asked looking away towards his class.

"Yes, I'll be fine. Get to class." I stated shooing him away when he looked torn.

I laid my head against the side of the chair letting jubilation at his words spread thorough my body. For the second time today he had called me beautiful. I meant to dwell on these feelings but I suddenly realized how exhausted I was as well as how much I hurt. My head punctuated this face throbbing sharply.

But before I could try to ignore the pain, I was woken by the bell ringing as students rushed out. I tried to peel open my heavy eye lids but with little success. Suddenly someone was gently pushing me as I felt myself lifted into the car and buckled in.

"Thanks," I muttered smiling as I snuggled into the seat of the car.

I vaguely heard the rest of the family file into the car. Everyone shushed Emmett as he got in but I distinctly heard Jasper when he whispered softly, "There's so much pain radiating from her."

"I know." I heard Alice's sad voice answer.

I wanted to open my eyes to assure them I was fine but the next time I opened them I was laying in my room. I struggled to get up but suddenly two white arms were helping me as Alice smiled brightly at me.

"Hey," I muttered slightly confused by my surroundings.

Alice smiled brightly at my expression explaining, "You fell asleep waiting for us. So we brought you home. I stayed here so I could help and Edward will be back shortly. He is running an errand for your father. "

"Edward's here?" I asked unable to hide my excitement. Alice smiled somehow wider at me as she nodded helping me out of my bed.

The rest of the night went by in a blur as Alice bantered easily with Charlie while Edward quietly questioned every aspect of my existence. That night, I lay in my bed reflecting on one of the best days of my life before falling into a peaceful sleep to dream of Edward.

A**uthors Notes: **

**I do realize that a lot happens in her first day back to school but the way I figure it according to Midnight Sun, Edward pretty much loved Bella the moment that he saved her. And my story has a very limited time frame and Alice has already seen the two alternate futures. Plus as far as my way of thinking, no matter what she is going to die shortly so what does Edward really have to lose. **


	9. Matter

**Again this is a long one but I really like long chapter so here you go. By the way I own nothing.**

I woke the next morning to someone gently shaking me, I would have know the cool hands anywhere so I moaned rolling over. However, I had been throughly enjoying the dream I had been having of my own personal savior so I glared as I opened my eyes muttering, "Alice don't you ever sleep?"

"No," she answered, giggling as I sat up in my bed. The room began to spin so I closed my eyes gripping the bed for stability. Alice rushed to my side in concern asking, "Bella are you alright?"

"Fine." I whispered slightly breathless but she sat next to me on the bed putting her arm around me comfortingly. I turned to her trying to smile but she still look concerned so I asked taking deep breaths, "Seriously you don't sleep."

She smiled brightly at me bounding off my bed as she collected various things around my room.

"Alice you can't just throw something like that out there and then not answer my question." I whined pulling off my covers as I scooted carefully to the end of the bed.

"Fine," she whispered looking over my appearance before adding, "But your not going to get the rest out of me so don't ask but to answer your question no I don't sleep."

"Ever?" I asked in shock but Alice grinned at me shaking her head before I quickly added, "That's not really a new question though, just clarification on the question I already asked."

Alice shook her head at me with finality before I mumbled sullenly, "I don't know why you are waiting for Edward to tell me. Getting anything out of him is like pulling teeth."

Her tinkling bell like laughter filled my room as she sat down next to me. She looked me over carefully with her wide golden eyes asking, "How are you feeling today?"

"Fine," I whispered looking away from her clinical gaze but of course she didn't believe me as she stated, "You still look tired."

I smiled at her stretching for her benefit, to test the pain in my limbs. In truth I was tired, my body ached and my head throbbed but compared to yesterday I did feel better. Really, it was no more than I was used too. I mean I hurt all the time anyway nothing was really worse.

Alice still watched me closely as I righted my body so I teased, "Well if someone didn't wake me up at an ungodly hour to get prepared for school. I would probably be better rested."

"Well you had better get used to that," she giggled helping me bounce around my room into the chair.

I sat watching in ashtonishment as she started the same routine as yesterday. Only today she pulled my hair into a loose bun curling the stray strands. Then she pulled me up from the the chair, setting me on the bed while she continued to bound around my room in a whirlwind.

Suddenly, she poked her head out of my closet stating almost too rapidly to understand, "Oh and by the way I got you a present. And before you can complain or deny to wear it. Remember I already know you will and it is going to look stunning so there is really no point in arguing."

I stared at her in amazement before gaining my voice to mumble, "So there is really no point then."

"No," she said with an authoritive finality.

"Well can I say thank you." I whispered stubbornly wishing that I could argue but in my current state she could very easily force it on me.

"Of course," she said walking out of my closet carrying a deep blue long sleeved v-necked sweater and a silky deep blue long skirt with floral patterns embroidered in it.

"I don't know how your family lives with you." I stated as she set the clothes before me. I had to admit they were both exceptionally beautiful but I could tell even with my naieve eyes that they were expensive.

"They love me," she stated rolling her eyes as she helped me dress in record time before ushering me down the stairs.

I grumbled the whole time about the clothes even though they were really exceptionally comfortable and soft. She laughed merrily the whole time before I muttered in agrivation, "You're secretly loving the fact that I am an invalid, aren't you."

"Yep," she laughed softly before adding, "When you're able to get yourself ready I won't get to have nearly as much fun so I have to enjoy it while I can."

I laughed out loud as I ate the rest of my poptart before she jumped up grabbing my bag and pushing me towards the door. Just like yesterday, as soon as I was out the door the silver Volvo pulled into my driveway. Alice wheeled me to the car as Edward got out.

Alice danced over to her side of the car muttering something that I didn't hear because my mind was totally consumed by Edward as he looked me over. I flushed, biting my lip but unable to take his intense stare anymore I looked down at my hands mumbling, "She did it. I had no say what so ever."

Suddenly his silky voice was in my ear as he whispered, "Then I will have to thank her."

I turned looking up at him shyly only to be met by his mezmerizing face. The look he made my knees go weak, thanking for the first time that I was already sitting. My heart went into overload as he picked me up gently holding me close for a few seconds before placing me into the car. I took much needed deep breaths as I put my seatbelt on.

Emmett's snickering caught my attention as Edward got into the car. Edward glared at his brother before pulling out of my driveway murmuring, "I wouldn't do it Emmett."

I looked toward Edward confused but he just shook his head before Emmett innocently said, "What?"

Alice perked up then as she whispered, "It wouldn't really be worth it Emmett."

I watched in the rearview mirror as Emmett turned to her with a devious glint in his eyes asking, "Yeah but would he wresle me tonight."

"Yes but he would win." Alice stated confidently as Jasper laughed next to her.

"Damn!" Emmett complained looking like a sullen child as the rest of the car burst into beautiful dancing laughter.

Edward rolled his eyes taking in my perplexed expression at the conversation, whispering, "You do all remember Bella is in the car, right."

"Like we could forget." Emmett muttered still sullen before reaching over the seat to muss my hair adding, "Hey there Bella."

I turned to return his greeting but we pulled into the parking lot of the school. Of course, everyone stared suspiciously as Edward unloaded me pushing me towards the sidewalk. My heart exploded into a new form of sprint that was actually painful as my mind played events of the previous day.

Why wouldn't they be staring hadn't Edward announced yesterday that he was my date for the dance. The illusive Edward Cullen was taking me. I am sure that spread like wildfire threw a school this small.

Cringing trying to look anywhere but at the staring students, I caught Jaspers looking worriedly at me. He whispered something to Alice and she bound up to me whispering in my ear, "Calm down Bella, it won't be as bad as you think."

I smiled hoping she was right as I said goodbye to everyone and Edward ushered me to my first class. He helped me to get situated before whispering, "I'll see you after class."

This statement confused me as I muttered, "Why I'll be fine?"

But he never answered as he smiled crookedly at me before walking out the door. A smile I didn't want to control spread over my features as I realized that for the first time in a long time I was utterly happy.

The day went by in a rush as Edward, true to his word, ushered me everywhere I needed to go. I couldn't contain the amount of happiness that fizzled through me the whole day. The smile never left my face once, even the stares and whispering couldn't penetrate though my fog of bliss. It wasn't until I sat alone waiting for school to end, that my mind persisted in reflecting on the change.

I sat resting my head against the side of my chair wanting to let the music carry me away and rest since I was exhausted. But instead my mind took over thinking about all the things that had happened. It was strange how my world changed so much in just those few short days.

In that time, I had gone from a sad person waiting for the end to someone actually enjoying their life. But the strange thing was, the more I thought about it, I realized the strange and wonderful turn of events were completely due to Edward. If he had been polite to me on that first day, I may never have met Alice. Then if he had not left me in the woods would things have turned out differently. Of course, Alice was very persistent, so maybe, but still it all came back to last Monday.

Then someone gently pulled the ear bud from my ear whispering in the voice I wanted to hear, "Penny for your thoughts?"

I looked up startled, staring into Edward's glorious face as he smirked at me sitting on the bench in front of me. I smiled looking down at my hands muttering, "I was just thinking."

I looked around expecting to see other students but there was none. So I raised my eyebrows quizzically before asking, "Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

He smiled a mischievous smile before answering, "Yes actually but I got done early so Mrs. Goff let me leave. And I gathered that you were thinking but about what specifically?"

"Nothing really." I muttered flushing deeper at the path my thoughts had taken.

"That is really frustrating." He whispered, his voice marred by the emotion.

"What?" I asked more than a little confused by his statement.

"You have all these emotions written all over your face but you never voice them. It's extremely frustrating I can't just know what you're thinking."

I stared at him curiously before stating, "You don't want to know everything in my head, Edward"

That would be a scary ride indeed to venture into my head.

He shook his head at me smiling as he said, "But I do. I want to know what you're thinking. The fact that I don't know drives me insane."

My brows drew as I mauled his statement over in my head. Why would the fact that he doesn't know what I am thinking drive him insane. I looked at him perplexed trying to read his expression but he suddenly found the grass very interesting.

"Why would not knowing what I am thinking drive you crazy?" I asked hoping to put together another piece of the puzzle. He didn't answer me so I added, "You can trust me."

"I know," he whispered finally meeting my eyes, his eyes troubled as if he was making a choice. Then finally he stated, "Like Alice I too have special abilities. I can read the minds of those around me."

"But not mine?" I asked putting his statements and his actions together.

"No for some reason you are strangely silent. I can't understand it."

I smiled at him, his brows drawing together as he frowned, secretly pleased that my mind was silent. It was unbearable to think of the alternative. How utterly embarrassing would that be considering some of my more vivid daydreams involving him.

But as I thought about it something bothered me and without thinking I asked, "Is there something wrong with my brain?"

He looked at me stunned for a minute before bursting out in robust laughter. I knew that I should be upset by his laughter but I couldn't find the anger in me as I enjoyed the sound.

"Bella I can't understand you at all. You know that we are different." He hesitated on the word slightly before continuing, "But I can't read your mind so you think there is something wrong with you."

"Well I mean if you can read everyone else's and not mine, wouldn't that make me the odd ball?" I asked finding it hard to think logically when his eyes pierced me so.

"No." he stated with so much conviction that I could not question him further.

I just stared at him trying to fit everything together but my mind wandered to my conversation this morning with Alice. Hoping that maybe he would trust me enough I asked hestitantly, "Are you going to explain the different part?"

He tensed instantly all signs of his previous humor gone. He surprised me though instead of getting angry, his face looked unbearably sad. His sadness tore at my heart. Instantly, I knew that I didn't care. If I never found out it wouldn't matter so I uttered, "Never mind Edward, you don't have to tell me."

He smiled slightly his head tilting to the left, but the smile never touched his eyes. The sadness was there buried in them. I couldn't stop myself when I reached out touching his hand softly with mine. His cool hand ever so gently turned up taking mine as he looked down at them.

"No you need to know. But I have to warn you, I don't know what you think we are but we are not good, Bella. We are monsters among men." Then he looked deeply into my eyes before admitting, "I'm dangerous to you."

"Of course you're not." I said instantly, confused by the strange intensity that his eyes held. I could see throughout his features he meant every word. But how could he be a danger to me?

"You don't have to tell me, Edward. It doesn't matter." I whispered with conviction hoping to take away the sadness in his eyes.

He pulled his hand away from me as his body vibrated with his anger. I couldn't look away as he shouted, "You shouldn't say that. You don't know what we are. We're not good, Bella. You must understand that."

I couldn't control the anger that welled in me at his statement. How could he not think that he was good? He had saved my life in more ways than he knew. But here he sat thinking that he was a danger to me. Well I was a danger to everyone I came in contact with. No matter what I did, I would hurt them.

At this realization, emotions that I didn't even know that I possessed burst of me as I yelled, "What you are doesn't matter. What matters are your actions. You and your family have saved me in ways that you will ever know. I can't stop the fact that I am dying but I quit living a long time ago, Edward. I was afraid to make friends, to hurt people. I didn't want them to have to deal with the fact that I was going to die. Then when it was in remission I was still afraid, knowing at anytime it could always come back. Why would I hurt people in that way. But though it's back and everything is ending suddenly I feel like me again." Tears I was unable to control stung my eyes as I concluded in a small rough voice, "So no I could care less what you are."

My anger faded as quickly as it had come but the emotions that I had kept locked up for so long refused to fade. I couldn't stop the tears as they flowed relentlessly from my eyes. Edward's face was torn as he hesitantly reached towards me, his cool fingers wiping away my tears.

"Please don't cry." He whispered agony coloring his voice.

I tried for his sake to will the tears away but they wouldn't stop. The flood gates just continued to flow as he moved to rest his hand on the side of my face, comfortingly. My face of its own accord snuggled deeper into his touch. My eyes fluttered closed while I cried, enjoying the fact that Edward was there to comfort me.

We sat there in silence as the minutes passed until finally the tears ceased. I opened my eyes only to meet Edward's as he asked, "Better?"

"Yes." I choked out my throat thick from the tears.

Embarrassed by my rant and my tears, my cheeks grew warm under his cool hand and he pulled it away. Instantly my cheek felt too warm and I missed the feel of him.

I tried to smile as I whispered, "Sorry about that."

"I am sorry I upset you but you have to know." He spoke softly trying to hide the emotions in his voice.

I frowned at him, glaring vehemently as I stated once again, "It doesn't matter."

"But it will." He said his eyes again showing a sadness that pulled at my heart.

"No it won't." I stated with all the stubborness the could conjure up.

"Bella, I will tell you what we are because you need to know but not now. Because when I do, you will run from us and I crave your company too much to let you go at this moment." He stated smiling crookedly at me but his eyes still retained a sense of unease.

I smiled at him as my heart beat out an unsteady rhythm at his words.

"Well then you had better wait at least a week or so because as of right now I'm not running anywhere." I teased looking pointedly down at my bum ankle before up at him.

My words had the desired effect and he laughed the tense atmosphere around us evaporating.

"Well then it would be best to wait at least a week." He whispered as the bell rang and students began to file out of the classrooms.

Edward stood up as he pushed my chair towards his Volvo. The rest of the family soon joined us for a delightful ride home.

That night Edward and Alice stayed with me again. Though we didn't speak of our conversation, instead we simply enjoyed one anothers company. Still I couldn't help but notice that something was different between us now. Not wanting to dwell on the difference I watched how tightly Alice had my father wrapped around her finger. It was funny in a way watch them banter back and forth. When it occurred to me that Alice would be a huge comfort to my father when I died, instead of the overwhelming sadness that I had expected, I felt relieved by the fact that at least he would have someone.

That night as I lay in my bed waiting for sleep to claim me, I heard a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." I yelled sitting up a little in my bed trying to fight off my exhaustion. But I was sure that my drooping eyelids would give my away.

Charlie padded into my room stopping at the edge of my bed.

"I wanted to tell you goodnight Bells." Charlie muttered gruffly, embarrassed.

"Oh goodnight, Dad." I whispered expecting him to leave but he just stood there.

"Is there anything else?" I asked hoping he would get to the point soon since I didn't know how much longer I would be able to keep my eyes open.

"Well a few things, um Dr. Cullen called today and he wants you to go for a more invasive test. Something about inconclusive results. And well since the Cullen's seem to have no problem giving you a ride to school, well I told Jacob not to worry about the truck." Charlie whispered his eyes telling me he knew all about why I had stayed overnight in the hospital.

"Dad I didn't want to worry you." I stated trying to sooth him but having a hard time containing my panic as I asked, "Did Dr. Cullen say when I had to go for the test?"

"I need to know about these things, Bells. Whether it worries me or not, my only concern is you." He said quietly, his love for me vibrating from every word before adding, "And he wants the test as soon as possible so he scheduled it for tomorow at 8am in Seattle."

"Would you take me?" I questioned tears welling up at his heartfelt words.

"Of course, Bells. I would take you anywhere." He whispered choking up too as he knelt next to my bed hugging me as if he would never be able to hug me again.

**Authors Note: So let me know what you think? Should I continue from here?**


	10. Leaving

**Sorry it took so long to update I have been on vacation. This chapter was really hard for me I have had about 5 different scenarios but this is what I decided to go with. **

The next morning went by in a blur as I did anything but think. I chatted with Charlie, read, did whatever I could to halt my mind. Because I knew that if I was to really think about it, I would break. Inside I knew what this testing meant, that I was right. The cancer was progressing more rapidly than expected. It meant that 6 months was an overestimate, I had much less time.

Charlie pushed me in the house after the long silent trip home. I knew that he had to go to work for a little while though he tried to persuade me otherwise. I shooed him out the door, slowly making my way carefully to the couch. I curled up on the couch, thankful that I had never changed out my sweats this morning, as all the feelings I had fought to suppress pressed on me.

I knew that I had to leave. Though just the thought of it made my heart ache, my mind was made up. I would not just wait, hurting everyone more, while I became no more useful than an infant. No, I couldn't put them through that. When there had been just Charlie and Renee it hurt enough but now with the Cullen's and Edward. Just thinking his name made my heart crack and my resolve waver but I wouldn't let it. This was the only way that made any sense. Hurting them further was not an option, having to watch their tormented expressions as I lose all my ability to function would be too hard. I would be able to deal with it all and the pain but not with them beside me. That would just be too much. Seeing them hurt, seeing Edward hurt would be more excruciating then cancer ever would.

Hot, wet tears lid down my cheeks, when I pictured him in my mind. His untidy bronze hair perfectly featured pale face, the crooked smile that took my breath away, and his piercing topaz eyes. Eyes, I was sure could see right to my soul. It was stupid really, how much he had come to mean to me in the last few days. Leaving him would be the hardest thing I would ever do. I instinctively knew that leaving would hurt him but not as much as I could.

Finally the exhaustion that I had been fighting over took me as one last thought flitted through my mind. _How come what I knew was right, felt like it would kill me before anything else could? _

Hot, white pain woke me from my troubled sleep. I sat up slowly trying to gain some advantage over the monster pulling apart my brain. I rubbed my temples, squinting around the room groping for anything that would distract my mind to dull the pain. But the movement of my neck only infuriated the monster inside me as he tried to rip out my spine. I groaned containing the scream that wanted to escape my mouth, knowing scream definitely wouldn't help. I stood up oblivious to the pain in my ankle as I hobbled my way to the kitchen, my hands in front of me groping.  
Finding my pain pills was my only thought, my only mission as fumbled threw the drawers in the kitchen. Somewhere in my mind, I was aware that someone was knocking on the door but I couldn't concentrate. I was too intent of finding a means to appease the excruciating pain. I breathed a sigh of relief as I finally reached my goal. I twisted the cap with shaking hands as my relentless monster finally succeeded in ripping my brain apart. The pills clattered to the floor as a smooth velvet voice shouted my name. But nothing mattered as a severe pain clenched my stomach overwhelming me as I emptied all the contents in my stomach into the kitchen sink.

Suddenly, cool stone arms were supporting my body soothing the hair away from my face. My stomach convulsed again as I heard Alice's shocked voice scream, "Edward, that's blood."

"I know." Edward whispered through clenched teeth never relinquishing his hold on me.

"Tell the others to get Carlisle, I'm taking her home. I need you to drive Alice." Edward whispered in a low tense voice soothing my hair.

Finally my stomach calmed as I collapsed into Edward. Pain and exhaustion overwhelmed me as he scooped me into his arms rushing me out of the house. I was barely conscious as he got into the car holding me whispering soothingly to me.

The next thing I was aware of was Dr. Cullen's voice as he shined a bright light in front of my eyes, "Bella can you hear me?"

"Yes." I answered my voice sounding very far away.

"How is the pain?" he asked as I tried to focus on his concerned pale face so close to mine.

"Better." I mumbled feeling the darkness creeping around me.

"How are you feeling?" he asked his cool hand touching my cheek.

"Tired." I slurred as he chuckled but suddenly I was afraid of the darkness that was taking me. I reaching up to him trying to grab him as I pleaded, "Please don't leave me, I'm afraid."

Then Edwards soothing velvet voice was in my ear as I realized his strong, cool body was the comforting presence holding me, "We're right here, Bella."

Comforted by this, I smiled letting the darkness claim me.

Low musical bells filtered through my head, making me wonder if I were in heaven. The sound was so soothing and comforting but I could still feel a faint pain in my head.

_So, I couldn't be in heaven could I?_ I asked myself as my surroundings became clearer. I breathed in deeply as an intoxicating scent filled my nostrils. Again I questioned the heaven thing but as I focused on the bells I realized I knew the voice. Edward's voice was humming  
what seemed to be a lullaby to me. Though it was not familiar to me, it comforted me more than anything I had ever known. Then his smooth cool fingers brushed the hair away from my face. I knew that I had not died yet and if I had then I really didn't care because heaven was blissful indeed.

A smile unconsciously formed on my lips as I asked, "Is that a lullaby?"

Opening my eyes would end the magical bliss that was dancing through my mind so I clamped my eyelids firmly closed. A frown gave my face as he stopped humming to answer, "You're finally awake."

Yes, "I answered whistfully, repeating my question so that I could forgo reality for just a while longer.

"Yes," he answered but I could hear the concern coloring his voice. I knew that he was wondering why I had not opened my eyes yet.

I've never heard it before." I stated clutching the blissful peace that was surrounding me but reality was crashing into me.

"You wouldn't I wrote it." He stated simply, his fingers gliding along my face once more.

Shocked my lids flew open but my vision was fuzzy I couldn't seem to focus. I started to panic as my heart raced in my chest for a few seconds before I remembered the drugs. But then my mind lost all thought as my vision finally focused to reveal Edward's face mere inches from mine.

My eyes raked over the pure perfection before me as I took an unsteady breath. Like a drowning woman craving air, I needed more. My hand reached towards him, my knuckles lightly grazing the line of his jaw. Overwhelmed by the feelings shooting to the very core of my body, I couldn't breathe as his golden eyes bore into mine.

I breathed out as Edward breathed in, he winced breaking the spell. I tried to pull my hand away blushing in embarrassment. As soon as my knuckles left him, his hand caught mine soothing out my fingers placing my palm on his face.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled trying to control my breathing as I looked away from his piercing eyes.

"Don't be." He stated with authority causing me to look back at him as he added, "You can't imagine how wonderful that feels."

I couldn't speak as I read the sincerity in his eyes. I smiled as his hand let go of mine to rest his palm on my face. I couldn't say how long we continued lost in the moment however eventually I could bear the intensity anymore. My hand moved, unsteadily at first, as I ran up the side of his face and across his brow. His eyes shut as he sighed, his breath washing across my face. I breathed in his scent, a shutter passed down my spine. He was truly more perfect than I would ever know.

I hadn't even realized that I was crying until Edward opened his eyes concerned. His thumb moved across my cheek as he wiped the moisture from my eye. A shaky watery smile crossed my lips as I tried to ease his concern. His golden eyes bore into mine as I read the emotions playing there. My breath caught in my chest as the electricity between us reached a new in heights. I couldn't move or breath as Edward closed the inches between us, his sweet breath washing over me.

"Don't move," he whispered his lips next to my cheek. I couldn't have moved if I wanted to, my body was frozen as my heart pounded wildly between us. My eyelids fluttered closed as his face blurred in my vision. Lighter than a feather his ice cold lips touched mine. The heat that tore through me was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It was like all the electricity in the air had suddenly taken up residence in my body. I couldn't stop my reactions as I threw my arms around his neck running my fingers through his hair. Plastering my body to his, I threw myself into the kiss. My mouth parted slightly breathing in his intoxicating scent.

In the next moment, my wrist snapped painfully as Edward wrenched himself from my body. I gasped in pain as my eyes snapped open searching for him. Within an instant, my searching eyes found him leaning against the far wall. His eyes were wild as he watched me, rubbing the cast on my broken wrist. I knew he could see the question in my eyes as he slid down the wall placing his head in his hands.

"I am so sorry, Bella. Are you alright?" He asked not looking up from his hands. I could feel the remorse radiating off him in waves. I dropped my sore wrist immediately as I stood up from the bed to limp towards him. He held his hand out to me as a warning before whispering, "Please Bella, I'm very dangerous to you right now."

I stared at him with confusion written all over my face. As I stood there trying to understand his behavior, all the feelings from earlier today washed over me filling me with an irrational rage. I stomped towards him, ignoring the protests in my ankle, to stand in front of him with my hands fisted tightly at my side.

Edward looked up at me cringing back into the wall as angry tears spilled down my cheeks. I just stood there unable to think rationally. I knew that I was not mad at him; really I wasn't angry with anyone but myself.

I was the danger here. I would hurt them. I would leave them all.

The pain of it fueled my anger as I shouted, "You're not the danger here, Edward. I am."

He was in front me before I could blink whispering soothingly, "Bella you don't understand."

I lunged at him beating my fists off the brick wall that was his chest screaming, "Then maybe you should explain it to me because I don't understand. I don't understand at all, Edward. I'm the one dying. I'm the one hurting everyone I touch. I'm leaving you all and it hurts. It hurts so much that I can barely stand it but I know that if you have to watch me die it will hurt me so much more."

He grabbed my wrists, encasing them in his stone hands before I could hurt myself further. I could see the pain in his eyes but I couldn't stop myself as I taunted, "So what? What danger are you putting me in? Are you going to kill me because if so I have you beat there don't I. So go ahead do your worst, I don't care anymore."

My body crumbled as my rage ended. Edwards's arms encircled me as he sat on the floor with me in his lap soothing my back. But I would not let the pain of it all take me anymore; I fruitlessly fought against him to escape from his stone arms.

I looked up at him glaring but he just smiled crookedly at me dissolving what was left of my anger. He gingerly resituated me on his lap so that he could use a free hand to examine my wrist before whispering angrily, "I think you broke your cast."

"It doesn't really matter." I replied in a low voice that sounded lifeless even to my own ears but I refused to look into his face as he looked back to me.

"Bella, look at me please?" He pleaded making no move to force me to look at him. But his pleading was enough, instantly I met his steady gaze. The intensity of it made the heat creep into my cheeks as my overworked heart picked up speed. But I held his eyes unable to look away as they flashed with so many emotions but what struck me the most was that he looked afraid.

I couldn't fathom what he was afraid of until his velvety voice reached my ears with the same fear, "Bella, what if I could save you?"

I smiled at the irony as I wished that he could do just that but I shook my head answering, "You can't save me. No one can."

"But I could," he persisted no hint of deception in his eyes as he continued his voice tightening, "But you wouldn't be same as you are. You would have to become the monster that I am."

I opened my mouth to speak but he gently placed his finger on my lips, whispering, "I need you to understand that, Bella. I know that it is not fair of me to ask you this. It's not right. But, I could save you."

I stared into his eyes seeing a deep sadness that pained me more than he could ever know. That sadness stabbed at my heart which was in some strange way linked to his. Then I realized that there was no way that I could have left him. I wasn't strong enough because just that act alone would have killed me.

There was so much that I wanted to say but I couldn't force the words to leave my mouth. I cleared my throat trying again because I knew what he was didn't matter. What I would become didn't matter because I loved him. The love I felt for him was stronger than anything I had ever felt before. It pulsed through every fiber of my body, my soul. If there was a slim chance that I could be with him, whether he felt the same or not, I would take it because if he was willing to save me then it was enough just to be around him. I wanted to tell him all this but the question that escaped my lips was simply, "What are you?"

**Authors Note: **

**Now for the ending I have a few different scenarios that include James and Jacob. Or I could just end it on a happy note since Bella has been through so much already. Oh and don't worry they have to declare themselves first but I am trying to think ahead. Please review and let me know if it was acceptable. I have been getting such awesome reviews I just want to thank you all. For my first fanfiction this is really great to know that so many like the story. **


	11. Explanation

**This chapter is kind of boring but I needed a lot of things to be explained so enjoy.**

Edward wrapped his arms around me hugging me as he laid his cheek on the top of my head. The gesture seemed extremely familiar when abruptly his arms released me so that I had to grip his shirt to keep from toppling backwards off his lap. He steadied me quickly as our eyes met; I could read the fear and apprehension there. He took a deep breath, calming himself as his lids fluttering down whispering, "I'm a vampire, Bella."

My eyes widened in shock as the questions bombarded my mind. The questions bubbled to my lips but as I took in Edwards's appearance I swallowed them back down. His arms hung limply at his sides while his head had dipped down so that I barely see his blank expression. He had turned to stone before me but I could still read the vulnerability there. Then I realized why the hug had been so familiar it was the hug that I had given to Charlie just yesterday. He was hugging me as if it was the last time that he would ever be able to touch me. He was afraid that I would leave him.

A smile formed on my lips as I contemplated the fact that Edward wanted me to stay. The new love for him that coursed through me grew stronger as I moved my hands towards his face. My hands shook uncontrollably and I wished they weren't but I placed them on his face all the same. He leaned into my touch, his eyes opening slowly as I soothed, "I'm not afraid of you Edward."

His eyes narrowed but he did not look away from me as he whispered, "You should be. I don't understand why you're not, Bella. Most humans shy away from us."

"Why would I none of you have ever tried to…." My words caught in my throat painfully as my mind finally pieced things together. Everything I had ever read or known of vampires showed that they lived off the blood of humans. I focused my attention back to him blurting out almost hysterically, "Do you kill people?"

Understanding showed in his eyes while his hands fisted tightly, "I have but not in a very long time. My family and I are different in that aspect. We live off the blood of animals but it never really satisfies the hunger or I guess thirst would be a better word."

I looked down at the floor, as I mauled his answer over in my mind, trying to understand why I was different. Then that first day flooded back to me, the dark look, the way he had gripped the table. I had completely misunderstood his reaction, he was not disgusted to be near me because of my disease, he was trying not to kill me.

In that moment I knew should be afraid but I wasn't. Maybe it was the fact that I was dying or maybe it was the fact that I loved him, I wasn't sure but either way I couldn't force myself to run from him. I bite my lip as I looked back to him, my voice was hoarse as I whispered, "It's harder for you to be around me than most isn't it?"

"Yes," he stated simply trying to read my reaction.

"Why?" I asked needing to understand everything. I knew that it would never change the way that I felt but I needed clarity. I had so many questions, so many things that I needed to understand but I needed to know why most of all.

"It's very difficult to explain" He stated grimly looking away from me.

"Please try. I need to understand."

He looked back at me then seeing the truth in my words. If I was to even consider his proposal then I needed to know everything. A hundred emotions crossed his face as I watched him, waiting for him to speak. Finally, when I thought I wouldn't be able to stand another second of silence his velvety voice filled the air, "With our lifestyle, we encounter humans everyday and it is difficult to refrain but we can. But with you the call of your blood is a thousand times stronger…" he stopped taking in my bewildered expression. He breathed evenly as he tried a different tactic, "Bella being close to you is very similar to giving a recovering drug addict a vile of heroine."

"So my blood is like a drug to you?" I asked trying to sort all the information out in my head.

"Yes, a very powerful drug." He whispered smiling at me while his soft eyes stole my breath.

"Is this something that happens a lot?"

"It has happened twice to Emmett. And Jasper is so new to our way to life that every day is a struggle for him so he was not sure. But as far as the rest no." he stated his face becoming very serious once more.

"And you?"

"Never before you?"He stated his face becoming an unreadable mask once more.

I thought about his answer as the questions, I had been keeping at bay, plagued me once again. I tried to sort through all the chaos in my mind to find the most vital. But Edward misunderstood my silence as he asked, "Are you afraid now?"

I smiled up at him shaking my head as I whispered truthfully, "Overwhelmed yes but afraid no."

He smiled crookedly back at me as he stated, "Given all that I have told you, you have every right to feel overwhelmed."

"It's not that really. It just that I have so many questions that I don't really know what I should ask first." I explained while his chest shook me with the laughter that he was trying to contain.

"My best suggestion would be to start at the top and work your way down. I will answer anything you want to know." he whispered trying to make his voice sound as even as possible.

"This is going to sound really stupid I am sure but you don't have fangs." I whispered as the tight dramatic bubble around us popped and his musical laughter swirled around the room.

The hours passed while Edward quietly answered every question that my mind could think of. I found out more information about what he was in those short hours than I thought my brain could contain. I knew the reason why they lived as they did and though I didn't think it would have been possible, I loved him more for it. I learned all about his background, that Carlisle had been the ones to change most of his family, that Alice and Jasper had come along later. As he spoke of his family, the more appealing becoming one of them seemed. I already loved each of them for the compassion that they had shown me but I wanted so much more.

By the time the drugs had fully worn off and I was feeling more than a little tired and sore, did two thoughts cross my mine. The first was I had no idea how long I had been there. While the second was of Charlie.

I looked around trying to gauge the hour asking, "What time is it?"

"It's 1 in the morning." He whispered reading my frantic face as he wrapped his arms tightly around me adding, "Alice called Charlie while you were sleeping to tell him that she picked you up to stay the night with her."

"Oh, well that was very nice of her." I stated settling comfortably back into his stone embrace.

"She figured with the day that you had that you wouldn't want to worry your father too." He whispered smiling at me before he placed his head on top of mine.

"She's very thorough isn't she?" I whispered enjoying the feel of him so much I never wanted to leave the comfort of his stone arms.

"Usually." He laughed as I closed my eyes wishing this moment with him would never end but my stomach gurgled painfully drawing my attention. I sighed as I realized that I had not eaten at all that day and anything that may have been in my stomach wouldn't have been there anyway. As I thought of that my face flushed bright red at the way that they had found me early that day.

I wanted to apologize but Edward cut me off stating, "You're hungry."

"No not really," I lied not wanting to inconvenience any of them further since I was positive that they wouldn't keep any food in the house.

"Alice got food earlier because she knew you would need it and I really think that you should eat something with what happened earlier today." He stated lifting his head off mine, turning my body so that he could see my face only to smile teasingly before adding, "Plus I think if you get any thinner then you will disappear before my eyes."

My face blushed even brighter as I glared up at him angrily. In the last few months, I had not been able to eat much that so my normally 115 pounds frame was now teetering on 90 pounds. All my bones jutted out strangely from my body but I had been hoping that it didn't show too much. Evidentially I had been wrong.

"Really," I muttered angrily pushing to stand up but Edward was quicker. In one fluid motion, he cradled me while I threw my arms around his neck before walking out the door.

"Besides, Carlisle really wants to check on you. Alice has been by Carlisle's room no less than 100 times waiting for us to finish and Esme is dying to meet you." He said carrying me down the stairs at an unnatural speed to stop in front of the rest of his family.

"It's about time." Alice squealed running to me.

Edward ignored her as he continued walking, at a more normal rate, towards what could only be their living room. Alice sighed behind him before he gently set me on a very plush leather sofa. Alice glared at him before coming to sit beside me. My embarrassment reach new peaks as the rest of the family gathered around me. However, a soothing calm surrounded me causing me to seek out Jasper.

"Thanks," I muttered having learned about his gift earlier.

"Don't mention it." He smiled standing a little back from his family as they all seemed to talk at once.

I laughed feeling empowered by the calm. Everyone looked to me there musical laughter erupting in sync with mine. A small motherly looking woman with soft brunette hair came to stand next to Carlisle. A beautiful knowing smile curved her lips as Carlisle began to speak, "Bella this is my wife, Esme." Esme held her hand out to me hesitantly as I smiled back at her.

Her cool grasp was what I had come to expect, shaking her hand I whispered, "It's very nice to meet you."

"I am so very glad to finally meet you too, Bella." She stated looking knowingly at Edward before adding, "You're all my children seem to talk about."

The cushion beside me started to vibrate slightly, drawing my attention. Alice bounced next to me in glee as Esme turned away saying, "I should get you something to eat."

"That's really not necessary," I stated trying to push myself off of the couch but Alice pinned me down.

"It's not a problem at all dear. You must be famished. You have been up there for hours." She stated a motherly kindness showing in her eyes before walking towards what I could only assume was the kitchen.

I slumped back into the couch feeling like a burden while Alice patted my arm soothing stating, "Don't worry, Bella. Esme's really excited to finally get to use the kitchen."

I stuck my tongue out at her broodingly earning a round of tinkling laughter from her. Looking away, I focused on Carlisle as he knelt down in front of me. His face took on a professional look as he pointed to my wrist asking, "May I."

I held my casted wrist out to him letting him inspect it. He turned it over and over in his palm finally satisfied with his inspection as he dropped it, looking up at me.

"So how are you feeling?" he asked his concern showing in his words.

I smiled trying to reassure him before I answered, "I am feeling much better. Thank you."

I could read the doubt on his face when he murmured quietly, "How is the pain?"

"Controllable." I whispered feeling embarrassment breaking through my calm, coloring my cheeks as five pairs of topaz eyes took in every word.

Edward sat down next to me softly grabbing my hand, his eyes showing his concern. Carlisle nodded his head at me, standing up but his face revealed that he was not completely satisfied with my answer. He looked back at me mentioning, "I am having your test results faxed to me as soon as they are complete so I am hoping to know soon if there is any change."

"Was there something wrong with the ones done at the hospital?" I inquired unable to curb my curiosity as my heart picked up rhythm.

"No, not expressly but one of your results was rather surprising but I won't know conclusively until I receive the new test results," he answered evasively.

I let go of Edward, reaching forward to grab Carlisle's hand before he could turn away.

"What do you think?" I asked as he looked back at me his expression was unreadable so I added, "I trust your judgment Carlisle. I need to know what you think."

He smiled sadly at me his mask vanishing, revealing his remorse dropping my hand as he leaned toward me whispering, "I think that the cancer is spreading much more rapidly than first estimated. Your episode today fairly confirmed that fact. I won't be sure until I get your results but with your rapid deterioration, my best guess would be that you will need hospitalization within a few weeks. The morphine I gave you this afternoon barely touched the pain before you passed out. I still can't quite understand how you are able to survive without taking pain medication daily."

I looked up at him questioningly not surprised that I was still considerably calm as he explained, "I questioned Alice."

"Oh," I whispered in a faint voice before continuing, "It bothers Charlie if he sees me take it. It used to bother Renee so I only take it when it's utterly necessary. I guess you could say I have grown accustomed to the pain."

Edward stiffened beside me gaining my attention. I opened my mouth to comfort him but Esme walked into the room carrying a tray of food. I thanked her profusely until Alice demanded my attention talking so fast I could barely catch her words. I ate as much as I possibly could but Esme looked concerned as she took my plate of barely eaten food. I leaned back into the couch letting Alice's voice wash over me as I closed my eyes. I distinctly heard the words sister and shopping but I was too far gone to protest.

I woke as someone gently lifted me off the couch only to place me on the same soft bed as before. I opened my eyes to watch Edward walk away from me just as all the emotions that were not present in Jasper's company pressed down on me. The need to not be alone crushed me as I pleaded, "Please don't leave."

Affected by my tone Edward was laying next to me in a flash, caressing my hair softly as he whispered, "I'm not going anywhere. Sleep now my Bella."

Then he began to hum that soothing lullaby as I drifted off to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

**Okay everyone wants a happy ending so I am going for that. Your reviews were great and much appreciated. This chapter skips over a lot of stuff that was already in the book so I hope it doesn't disappoint too much. I can't wait to write the next chapter because it is my own personal meadow scene. Plus I love me some sweet Edward action. **


	12. Declaration

A strange light glowed under my lids, waking me. I squeezed my lids shut curling into the warm comforter wrapped around me, praying for more sleep. Slowly the previous day filtered through my still dazed mind. Shooting like a rocket out of the bed, I took in my surroundings. The bright light was coming thorough the large glass wall. I squinted my eyes instantly looking for Edward but he was no where to be seen.

Suddenly, a click, like a door opening and closing, occurred to the left of me. But before I could turn my head to look Edward was in front of me. My eyes raked over his appearance, from his wildly tousled hair to the way the white t-shirt hugged his lean, muscular chest before meeting his light ocher eyes. I blushed, embarrassed at my awed, ogling but he smiled crookedly at me. He sat down next to me, my erratic heart the only sound between us.

Taking my hands in his, his voice a little concerned he asked, "You weren't frightened were you? I only meant to leave for a few minutes but it ended up taking much longer than I thought. When I returned, Alice was already on her way up here."

A smile curved my lips as I responded, "No, I was fine actually. I just woke up right before you came through the door."

"Good." He answered, his concern gone, his eyes continuing to bore into mine.

We continued our silent starring contest for a few moments before I had to look away, afraid that if I didn't my heart would actually succeed in leaping out of my chest. He massaged slow circles into the top of my hand wordless, as if trying to collect his thoughts.

Finally he spoke drawing my attention once again, "I am so glad that you are finally awake. I thought you might actually sleep the whole day away."

Confused by his statement, I asked, "What time is it?"

His eyes sparkled, his smile widening as he answered, "It's 2 in the afternoon." I gasped in shocked when he immediately added soothingly, "Bella you had a very rough day yesterday. I think you deserved a day in bed. I wouldn't have left you but I needed to if you agree to what I have planned anyway."

Instantly my curiosity was peaked, I asked, "And what might that be?"

He grinned deviously shaking his head, to which I frowned, stating, "I'm not going to tell you. It's a surprise."

I tried to glare at him saying, "You know, I don't really like surprises."

He mulled this information over for a few seconds, his eyes never leaving my face. Thinking I may have actually gotten my way I smiled but his face eyes darkened taking on a disturbed look. I regretted my words instantly, meaning to speak but he was quicker.

"Do you trust me Bella?" he asked, his voice revealing a hint of his unease.

Though I knew that most would think that I was insane after all I had learned last night, it didn't matter to me. There was no question in my mind, I trusted him completely.

With as much conviction as I could muster, I whispered, "Yes."

The grin that spread across his face was blinding, stealing my breath as he whispered, "Then, there shouldn't be a problem."

Before I could gain my breath, Alice burst into the room. Her face was beaming with her excitement as she came to stand in front of me. I looked from her to Edward to Alice in confusion. He shrugged his shoulders glaring defiantly at his sister.

"She's here to help you get ready," he whispered casually in my ear.

"You can glare at me all you want but unless you want her to go out like that," she accented _that_ her nose wrinkling, pointing to the sweat pants and shirt I had been wearing for almost 2 days, before continuing, "Then I have to help her get ready."

My cheeks burst into flames, realizing how horrible I must look. My clothes were crumpled, my teeth fuzzy and I was sure my hair looked like something had nested in it. I wanted to crawl in a hole as I brushed my hand through my hair in a vain attempt to tame it.

The death glare Edward gave his sister for upsetting me, made me cower a little before he threw his arm around me protectively whispering, "If she wore a sack it wouldn't matter, she'd still be beautiful."

My heart swelled in my chest, while Alice just rolled her eyes smiling, "Yes, but with a nice relaxing shower and a little of my help, she'll be radiant."

I made a hmp sound out my nose, announcing, "You're both crazy."

The look Edward gave me told me just how absurd he thought I was, but I knew he was just being kind, sweet Edward. I was far from beautiful but it affected me all the same a blush coloring my face.

He opened his mouth to voice it but Alice cut him off impatiently muttering, "Look, he is only going to give me 30 minutes to get you all prettied up so I don't really have time for your next conversation."

I laughed wondering if I would ever get used to her unique gift but Edward sighed in surrender giving me one last squeeze before getting off the bed. Conflicting emotions filled me I desperately didn't want him to leave but I knew I needed a shower.

Giving in to the later, I too pushed myself off the bed balancing all my weight on my good leg. Pain, that had been so easy to ignore before, wafted through me. I stretching, I wanted to wince at how much it hurt but that would give me away so I didn't, my brain pounding softly. Carlisle was definitely right, it was getting harder to ignore.

Concentrated on myself, I hadn't noticed what Edward was doing until he stood in front of me, holding 2 pills and a glass of water. Immediately I recognized my pain pills. I looked into his eyes, wanting to read his expression but they held nothing but concern for me.

"Carlisle said that you should take these when you woke. They would help." He whispered in a voice that left no room for argument.

But stubbornly I did anyway. The pills would help the pain but they also made me even more tired and my brain foggy. I wanted to have a clear mind for whatever my surprise was today so I tried to refuse.

"That's alright, I really don't need them. It's not that bad."

Though Alice looked like she might force them down my throat, Edward took a more tactful approach running his finger softly down the side of my face – leaving an electric trail – that stole my breath and sent my heart racing.

Then he whispered in a soft pleading voice, "Please Bella, I don't want you to be in pain."

There was no way I could argue with that, so I did as he asked. Throwing them in my in my mouth then chasing them with water. He smiled crookedly at me pleased. I tried to conjure up the energy to glare defiantly at him but I couldn't do it. He was only thinking of me, not wanting my pain. He really was truly too good to be true.

That thought stabbed my heart. The love that I felt for him grew every moment, but could he really love me back. Not willing to listen to the dark answer my head gave me. I grabbed the hand Alice held out, giving Edward one last look. My expression must have held some of my sadness because his beautiful face furrowed in confusion. He moved toward me, a need for explanation clear in his eyes but it was too late Alice closed the bathroom door blocking me from his vision.

The next thirty minutes flew by in a relaxing rush of hot water and Alice's musical chatter. I didn't pay strict attention letting Alice and the pain medication sooth away my heart ache. By the time I was done an invigorating excitement had taken its place. I let it thrill through me while Alice carried me down the stairs.

She deposited me quickly in front of Edward stating, "There's no need to thank me."

Then she bound away her trilling laughter following her. Edward looked me over once, taking in my thick blue sweater and snug jeans, nodding in approval. I took him in too quickly noticing the addition of a tan leather jacket hugging his form and a basket.

Eyeing him curiously I asked, "Are we going outside?"

"Yes," he answered but I wasn't able to question the basket as he carefully slung me on to his back.

I gasped in shock, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck, my cast limiting the firmness of my hold. Seeing the problem, Edward quickly shifted me so that he was cradling me. His smell was intoxicating as I laid my head into his chest breathing deeply.

"You might want to close your eyes," he warned before shooting off like a rocket out the door and into the woods.

Heeding his warning, I buried my head deeper into his stone chest. The sensation was smooth and effortless but I didn't open my eyes. I had seen firsthand the speed at which they could move and didn't think that my stomach would be able to handle that.

I didn't realize that we had stopped, too absorbed in Edward holding me, until Edward whispered, "You can open your eyes now, Bella."

The scene before me was breathtakingly beautiful. It was a small, perfectly round meadow filled with wildflowers. It was beautifully serene and seemed to fit the man cradling me in his arms.

I looked up to him meeting his liquid ocher eyes, as he whispered, "Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful, Edward." I said so many emotions coloring my voice.

He smiled crookedly his eyes dazzling me. Edward moved forward, gently setting me down before setting out a picnic for one. I smiled at him scooting over on to the blanket he had set out.

He shook his head laughing before saying, "I could have done that."

"Yes," I retorted smiling in return, "but I was perfectly capable of doing it myself."

"You're stubborn." He stated as he sat next to me.

We sat in serene silence while I picked at the food he had set out. I wasn't really hungry but I couldn't let his efforts go to waste either. Then I lay back on the blanket letting the wind blow my hair softly. He laid down next to me, taking my hand in his, laying it on his chest.

Absentmindedly, he played with my fingers sending little tingles of electricity down my body. I turned my head to the side meeting his eyes. The emotions playing in those liquidy depths instantly flushed my face, sending my heart racing.

I couldn't look away as he moved, in one of his lighting quick movements, on to his side cradling his head on his other hand. He let go of my hand then only to run a finger down the side of my face. My breath caught as the electricity firing within me reach new peaks until I was fairly sure I was going to internally combust. How could one person affect me so much without seeming to notice, I wondered.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely," he murmured resting his palm on my cheek.

Not knowing how or if I could respond, I remained silent.

He smiled crookedly at me before continuing, "I need to tell you something, Bella."

"Alright," I stuttered my voice weak from all the feelings racing through me.

His eyes seemed to falter, uncertainty swimming in them as he whispered, "I meant what I said yesterday, and I could save you if that is what you want."

A small smile played on my lips, realizing I want wanted nothing more. As much as I loved him I could never leave him. That pain would be more than I could endure. But the dark voice inside my head, stomped on my happiness needing to know why.

Before I could stop myself I asked darkly, "Why would you want to save me, Edward? I'm nothing special."

He looked taken aback by my statement before smiling softly saying, "You are special Bella, more special than you know."

In my heart I wanted to believe his words but I couldn't. Though it was hard to explain my feelings I knew I had to. I couldn't have him saddled to me forever when I was desperately in love with him.

I looked away from him then taking a deep breath to savor the moment before whispering, "But I not. I don't want you to feel like you have to save me because I'm dying, Edward. That's not fair. I would love nothing more than to be with you forever but …" I couldn't continue it was just too hard.

Tears stung my eyes as Edward pulled my face back towards his forcing me to look in his eyes. His eyes overflowed with so many emotions: happiness, contentment and…

"Bella, I'm the one being selfish not you. I'm a soulless monster. Even though I don't want to be I am. Doing that to you is the most selfish thing that I will ever do. But, I want to do it not because you're dying or because I pity you. But because I don't think I can live without you. Because your everything to me now or ever. Because the thought of losing you is a pain I can't I could endure. But mostly because I love you more than I more than…anything." he whispered his velvety voice revealing all the truth in his words.

Tears trailed down my face at his beautiful words, my heart growing to breaking point as it danced in my chest. Though it was unbelievable, he loved me and I couldn't be happier then I was at that moment. I wanted to laugh, dance, sing in euphoria but Edward's face drew my attention. His face falling as his body remained still and cold in his sadness.

With an energy that I didn't know I possessed, I threw myself at him. I threw my arms around his neck while he wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Of course, I love you, Edward. How could you even question it?" I whispered into his ear placing my cheek on his.

He laughed lightly, the sound tickling between us. Rolling over so that I was sprawled on top of him, every curve of mine fitting his, he clutched my face.

"I don't know what I have done to deserve you." He whispered smoothly his glorious eyes smoldering into mine.

I smiled so hard it hurt my cheeks, muttering, "I think you have that backwards."

"No, I don't," he said simply his blindingly beautiful face just inches from mine.

"Hold very still," he warned, his breath washing over my face.

My heart raced in anticipation but I didn't move as he inched closer. Finally when I knew I couldn't wait anymore his smooth, cool lips touched mine. Every fiber in my body begged for me to move, clutch him closer to me but I held them back enjoying the sensation of Edward loving me.

He pulled away much too quick for my liking, put repented in feathering tingling kisses from my mouth to my cheek down my neck. Finally, I let my hand move to roam through his silky bronze hair enjoying the smooth texture. He sighed letting go of my face only to wrap his arms around me, pulling me closer. Laying my head on his chest, I breathed in deeply enjoying the sheer bliss of the moment.


End file.
